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Slowing things down without ruining the moment

 
 
Mon 2 May, 2022 05:15 am
My first post so please take it easy on me. So I've got a tendency to take things slow. I haven't had many relationships and when I do I like to take time with things and just enjoy the moment if that makes sense, not rush through things. I guess most guys find that frustrating, I've even been called frigid, which I don't see myself that way. I guess I'd love to hear from someone with a bit more experience on how to slow things down, when kissing, when touching, without ruining the moment. In the past I've not been very smooth and hinting to the guy that I'd like to keep kissing for a bit more before going further and it's kind of ruined the mood and given him the impression that I don't care for him very much. I'm not someone that plays around or anything like that. So far all I've tried to do is just say what's on my mind but I seem to be great at really bumbling my words and creating this awkward moment every time. Is there ways without words that I can let him know?
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Type: Discussion • Score: 3 • Views: 247 • Replies: 8
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izzythepush
 
  1  
Mon 2 May, 2022 07:42 am
@sunnygirl04,
Maybe you should make yourself clear before you start kidding and cuddling.
Mrknowspeople
 
  -1  
Mon 2 May, 2022 06:34 pm
@sunnygirl04,
Yeah great idea until its not.

Placing inhuman control over your oneness is not a good idea. What is the fear that would be supported by control? You fear he will be having the sex all day, every day and you won't be able to sleep?
0 Replies
 
Randomboy3030
 
  -3  
Mon 2 May, 2022 06:49 pm
Some guys need sex quickly like me😅
sunnygirl04
 
  1  
Tue 3 May, 2022 02:41 am
@izzythepush,
Anything you would recommend on how to do this in a spontaneous sort of way? I find trying to sit down and have this conversation with a guy just gets super awkward, for both of us and what exactly would I even say since every situation is a bit different. I was hoping for more of a non-verbal way to guide him through.
sunnygirl04
 
  1  
Tue 3 May, 2022 02:42 am
@Randomboy3030,
Yes I suspect that would be most guys my age
0 Replies
 
izzythepush
 
  1  
Tue 3 May, 2022 02:47 am
@sunnygirl04,
Set your boundaries at the beginning.


As this is only our (number) date I don't want to go too far.


I just want to.....


I think it's a lot less awkward having the conversation then as opposed to half way through kissing.
sunnygirl04
 
  1  
Thu 5 May, 2022 04:12 am
@izzythepush,
Ok that does make sense, the trouble is I'm not really sure how many dates etc I'll need before I'm comfortable to do xyz. That might sound stupid, but I can't really predict how I'll feel, or I'll have an idea but then when it gets to it change my mind. Not because I'm being difficult it's just new for me. That's why I thought maybe if I had some ways up my sleeve I could guide him as we go, so he's not frustrated with me but maybe I'll just pick those things up as I go.
izzythepush
 
  1  
Thu 5 May, 2022 04:17 am
@sunnygirl04,
You're not going to want to go all the way on a first date, start there.

Be honest, tell him what you just told me.
0 Replies
 
 

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