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Do you ever feel like your partner is too smart for you?

 
 
Reply Thu 28 Apr, 2022 12:15 am
I'm 37 years old and autistic so I have shortcoming when it comes to intelligence and maturity I would say, in my experience, compared to average people.

My girlfriend is 21 and I feel that I am at the same level as her, maturity and intelligence wise, but I feel she is even more advanced than me and smarter than me and afraid that she will outgrow me as a result of this, if she matures and advances, and I remain the same.

But is this a normal feeling in a relationship, and perhaps I shouldn't feel insecure about it, and if she is is more advanced than me, so what?  Nothing wrong with that?

What do you think?  Thank you very much for any opinions on this!  I really appreciate it!
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Type: Discussion • Score: 8 • Views: 350 • Replies: 9
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edgarblythe
 
  1  
Reply Thu 28 Apr, 2022 06:41 am
@harmonica,
Try to avoid being a boring person for extended lengths of time if at all possible. Boredom makes the spirit restless.
0 Replies
 
Linkat
 
  2  
Reply Thu 28 Apr, 2022 06:54 am
@harmonica,
There is more to a relationship and to a person than simply their intelligence and maturity. You likely have traits that your girlfriends finds attractive and finds important over and above intelligence and maturity.

Quite honestly (and this is no dig to my husband) I feel I am more intelligent than he is - but then he has other qualities that are stronger than mine. So what? We are all different.

Think of what qualities you have that your girlfriend does like. That should build up your security in yourself. It could be things like loyalty, kindness, even being a craftsman, artist or musician.

engineer
 
  2  
Reply Thu 28 Apr, 2022 07:05 am
@Linkat,
I'd echo that. A relationship is a partnership, not a competition. If you both bring things to the table that the other appreciates, you are going to be fine.
0 Replies
 
bobsal u1553115
 
  1  
Reply Thu 28 Apr, 2022 08:23 am
@Linkat,
My wife lets me think I'm the boss. I let her think I think I'm the boss.

We have a very good and happy relationship
Linkat
 
  2  
Reply Thu 28 Apr, 2022 10:46 am
@bobsal u1553115,
bobsal u1553115 wrote:

My wife lets me think I'm the boss. I let her think I think I'm the boss.

We have a very good and happy relationship



And quite likely it is the dog who is the real boss.
0 Replies
 
Mrknowspeople
 
  -3  
Reply Mon 2 May, 2022 06:20 pm
@harmonica,
I really do feel that way and you are supposed to be shamed for feeling that. For me, it is that she knows more than I and it is not to her benefit. I watch her make error after error during the past 20 years and I get less and less will to speak up.
bobsal u1553115
 
  1  
Reply Mon 2 May, 2022 07:54 pm
Smart is sexy. My women have all been smarter than me.
0 Replies
 
Mame
 
  2  
Reply Thu 5 May, 2022 10:27 am
@Mrknowspeople,
Mrknowspeople wrote:

I really do feel that way and you are supposed to be shamed for feeling that. For me, it is that she knows more than I and it is not to her benefit. I watch her make error after error during the past 20 years and I get less and less will to speak up.


That didn't even make any sense. "Supposed to be shamed..."? She knows more than you and it is 'not to her benefit''? How so? And she knows more than you but you watch her make 'error after error'? And what does any of that have to do with your lack of "will to speak up?"
0 Replies
 
RobWally
 
  0  
Reply Thu 5 May, 2022 10:40 am
@harmonica,
We all are differents, it is normal to feel like that sometimes but it is better to remember that you are also smart and great.
0 Replies
 
 

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