Abstinence

That he is waiting for the right person.

Or he is unsure about his sexuality.

That he is waiting for the right person. Ive been in relationships before and had the chance, but didn't seem to be feeling the way the girl was. I just wasn't feeling it. I have never questioned my sexuality.

Well, then why is this a problem? You know why you are so what does it matter?

Actually you are unusual in this day and age.

Many moons ago, when sex before marriage was frowned on, I was a young lass and entering the dating world. I remember having several boyfriends (I was quite young) who I never had sex with. I remember those relationships fondly because I was not stressed about sex, bjs, pregnancy, etc. The worst thing I had to worry about was chapped lips or bad breath before my goodnight kiss. It was so sweet.

Since I started having sex (when I got old enough) I was dismayed to discover that, after a couple of dates, it was 'expected' if the relationship was to continue otherwise I was considered odd.

I am of the impression that if I don't love (or seriously lust after) the guy then I'm not having sex with him just for the sake of having sex, or because it's the third date and it's got to happen! Peer pressure is very strong but if you don't feel comfortable doing it just because everyone else on the planet seems to be doing it, then stick to your guns and explain to the girl how you feel. If I met a guy who said that to me, I would be delighted because it would give me time to really get to know him and likewise for him to know if I was the right person. I have respect for that.

Wonderful post Heevan. Just had to say.

Thanks Borealis!

I agree Heeven.

It is unusual in this day but I think Id like to meet a guy like that too.It would be nice to know he wasnt just after sex.

Its the same whichever gender your talking about.
If you know your unsure and you want to wait then do so.
If somebody pressures you into sex, they are not the person for you.

Thanks for the responses ladies. You all sound like wonderful persons to talk to everyday. You all have a good one.

Stick around and join in some of the other topics! New voices are always welcome. And speaking of that, welcome to A2K!

im gonna put a guys input into this..

im gonna come right out and say im 18 yrs old and a senior in HS

i hate the current situation about all the expectations. I was brought up in a very traditional Italian, catholic household and i was always told "Sex after marriage"

However, this concept is thrown out the windown in HS, i never thought id say this, but there is alot of pressure because i feel as if i have to give up all my values when im looking for a gf because alot of these girls have already had sex or done other things.

It really seems as if i need to be more open minded about sexuality now, because what my parents taught me just no longer applies...and that is truly dissapointing.

It doesnt come across as sacred or as what 2 people do when they love eachother. Which is what i still believe it should be. It has turned into a meaningless expected act for the majority of people my age.

i would be a hipocrite to say i believe in sex after marriage, since i didn't wait. however, i agree that there is something sacred about sex. my first was a guy that i swore i was going to marry (i had graduated high school actually) and it was something sacred, which is why i probably waited so long. however, once we broke up, sex was no longer sacred and i moved on.

i agree with heeven, you must do what is in your heart. don't let what others think about change who you are. and don't give up your values just to "have a girlfriend". nothing is worse than compromising yourself because others think you should. there is a woman out there for you and she will have the same beliefs as you. that is what attracted me to my husband, we had the same beliefs about life and morality.

houzer, does your school have a group called young life (if you are in the states). I recall them being a religious group for high schoolers that was very active yet stuck to their guns about their religious beliefs. if it is available to you, you might want to think about it, it will help take some pressure off since they will have the same values you do.

It didn't apply when your parents were in high school either. People were having sex in high school 40 years before I was in high school (30 years ago).

lol, lets be serious a group like that in HS?

you dont wanna join that...

and ehBeth im sure thats true, but there is absolutely no way that it was as common as it is today

seriously, young kids should hold out as long as they can, untill they are sure they know the other person well enought. How well enogh? well, that i guess some of us find out the hard way.

it's just the luck of the draw sometimes weather your first time is a good or bad experience. if it was a bad one, then at least you know what bad sex is like.

Just for heavens sake don't get pregnant and use protection please, so you can at least put the act behind you and carry no baggage.

If you just want to wait for the right person to fall in truly in love with i think that is awesome..i did try and then i failed for the 1st time. I feel like i was planning on it back then when i was 18 not to have sex, but its like i was stupid too for doing it or not knowing. i admire people who wait! i lost mine at 18 but didnt have it again till i fell in love with my true love when i was 23. just wait!

Hey, I just wanted to put my two cents in here.

As usual, there is already a lot of good input here.

Definetly, do what you believe is right for you. There has always been people around to pressure us to do what they are doing. High school is especially tough for this.
I too can't say I waited for marriage, but I did wait for someone special that I knew. I thought I would be with him for life. I was an exception amongst my friends, because I waited until after high school. Most of my friends had a lot of casual sex. There was just me and one friend who was waiting for marriage.
Do you know what? A lot of people respect a person who sticks to their guns under pressure. It's a great quality! There are also many girls who are looking for the same thing as you: they do exist.
Also, I think it's a good idea to make sure you surround yourself with friends who support you no matter what you choose to do. My friends and I come from different backgrounds, but we can respect each other's choices. Get some back-up support:)

cheers