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Husband initiated separation, staying with mother who hates me.

 
 
xHny05
 
Reply Fri 25 Mar, 2022 12:23 am
So after being together for 17 years (since I was a teenager) and several children together my husband initiated a separation and went to stay with his mother. Now his mother hates me, she always has, she bullied me as a teenager and has spread awful lies about me and about the way I treat her son, to his family. I’ve never even smarted off to the woman and continue to try from a distance to be kind and caring to her. My husband can be easily and I do mean EASILY manipulated by his mother and some of those times has caused fights between us or has caused tension bc I feel the difference in his presence around me after talking with her. When I was pregnant with our first child she intentionally invited my husbands ex-girlfriend over and treated her better than me etc and my husband just went along with the idea of her being there.. I have stories a mile long but I won’t get into all of that. My question is do you think it’s healthy for our marriage for him to stay with his mother given that in the past he’s not been able to tell her no in situations that were not good for him or our relationship and he’s not been able to stand up for me when she’s having a hate fest?
 
Mrknowspeople
 
  -2  
Reply Fri 25 Mar, 2022 12:50 am
@xHny05,
You might suspect it is not good that you are separated from your spouse. Sounds like you know this. People who are easily manipulated have to be worried about. Why did your husband leave?
xHny05
 
  0  
Reply Fri 25 Mar, 2022 01:10 am
@Mrknowspeople,
He’s always had an anger issue, I don’t want it to negatively impact my children (he’s not angry towards them) so when he got angry this last time and had a physical outburst (punching a wall) I told him he should go calm down and that we needed to make some changes if this was going to work out. If he wasn’t willing to take the proper steps needed to fix the issues then the marriage would be over, he then went to his mothers and that’s when all of this occurred. During which at one point he told me he would not be coming back into this town (which to me means not seeing me or the children) but then later says he wants to be with us. He says we fight to much, I agree, I have asked several times for us to do something about it. Fights like the one that caused all this usually start with him not getting his way bc he doesn’t express his feelings in a way that can easily be understood. If that makes sense.
Mame
 
  2  
Reply Fri 25 Mar, 2022 05:48 am
@xHny05,
Dump his sorry ass.
0 Replies
 
jespah
 
  3  
Reply Fri 25 Mar, 2022 06:52 am
@xHny05,
Punching a wall is not a good sign at all.

You say he's got anger issues. Yeah, no kidding.

Why are you putting up with this nonsense? You do realize that there's a real possibility he'll next punch something that's living.

Dollars to doughnuts, that'll be you.

Take this opportunity and cut loose from this disaster.
0 Replies
 
jcboy
 
  2  
Reply Fri 25 Mar, 2022 09:04 am
@xHny05,
Anger issues, punching a wall? yea your next.

Kick Mama's boy to the curb!
0 Replies
 
Linkat
 
  2  
Reply Fri 25 Mar, 2022 11:10 am
@xHny05,
It probably isn't healthy but quite honestly you don't have a choice in the matter.

On the positive side this frees you up to find a man with a backbone that would out you first.

I suggest getting a good lawyer to ensure you are not taken advantage of if or when there is a divorce especially with kids involved and knowing this mom is likely to fight you

And now I am reading about his anger ..yeah I agree with others
0 Replies
 
bobsal u1553115
 
  1  
Reply Fri 25 Mar, 2022 01:58 pm
@xHny05,
Your question seems to be: can you have good marriage with a husband who is living at a mom-who-is-actively-hostile-and-manipulating-him's house after filing for separation?

There are two answers: NO. And HELL NO.

Take care of yourself first
0 Replies
 
Mrknowspeople
 
  0  
Reply Wed 6 Apr, 2022 07:24 am
@xHny05,
End your separation
0 Replies
 
 

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