Mon 1 Sep, 2014 09:52 am
Do you think a seperation would help?
I have been married for a year in a half. (which is just about how long I've lived with my husband) He always worked before we got married, before we moved in together. My husband grew up a little spoiled by his mother who practically gave him everything he wanted. We've been together for four in half years.
Well after we got married my husband up and quits his job...He called in a lot and just about got fired...He was off work for almost 3 months mean while I worked between 48 to 62 hours a week trying to keep our head above water. Well now he is working but only part time and as minimal hours as possible. (We're talking between 9 and 15 hours a week, an average of 10) Anytime he can go home he does, anytime the oppertunity arrises for him to not to be at work he takes it. He still expects to get things, expensive things and I would surprise him sometimes but it would never be good enough he always ask for more within a short span of time. I'm still trying to work as many hours as possible, I work full time to begin with, I'm even going as far as to try and get a second job. I go without things I want or NEED just to make sure we have all that we need.
I feel like my husband has got so comfortable. He wants me to take care of him. He doesn't care that I'm exhausting myself working all the time while he sits at home most of the time doing nothing, just content playing his video games and talking to his friends. He even when as far as to aske me if he could be a stay at home husband once. Be sure I have told him several times thats not even a possibilty. I've told him he needs to grow up and do his share, he has to work I cannot afford to just take care of him. I've told him countless times he needs to get a full time job or at least pick up more hours and if thats not an option he needs to pick up another part time job. I feel like if he really cared he would do absolutely anything. He works in fast food as it is and has a lot of experience he could get a second job that way. It's been almost two years and I finally got him to go to some temp agencies for a job but I feel like it shouldnt have took me that long to get him to go in the first place...Dont get me wrong though I'm glad he is going now...but he doesn't seem to be giving a real valiant effort. I think he should be putting in apps everywhere including second jobs whether he wants the job or not. I don't always like my job but I make myself go every day and I pick up as many hours as possible. He seems to have this notion in his head that he should have the hours available that he wants and he should be able to do what he wants and he has to have time for this or that and I asked him, what about me? What about my time? I'm sacrificing everything just to take care of us...I told him this countless times.
I just feel like if I left for awhile he would grow up. Maybe it would smack him in the face that I'm not his mom and I'm not here to take care of him. This is going to be mutual relationship, I'll do my half if he will do his. I feel like he is taking complete advantage of me and my love for him, he is abusing it in a sense.
Do you think it might be a good idea to do a trial seperation?
Have you and your husband been in counselling of any type to discuss your marriage?
I've actually asked him about conselling, he just told me he didn't want to go and that we don't really need it.
In that case, I'd suggest starting counselling on your own - have someone IRL assist you with this problem.
You married a mama's boy, a slacker.
Move on. He's going to drain you emotionally and financially.
(I can't believe you didn't see these character flaws before marriage. Love IS blind.)
Show hubby where the curb is.