My husband calls me names

Re: My husband calls me names


No thanks. What do you think?

I'm not going to go to the site you mentioned. It's not necessary in order to answer your question and it's immaterial vis a vis your other posts on this site. Yes, I said it's irrelevant. We believe you when you say he's looking at porn. We don't need to see the porn. We believe you. So don't worry about that.

Your husband is behaving in an abusive manner. Loving people do not treat one another in this fashion. Get yourself to a counselor. See if he will come along (I bet he won't). So go alone. And start lining up your ducks, thinking about what it would be like if you had to live without him -- emotionally, financially and socially. Could you do it? If not, see about getting yourself into a position where you can.

I am assuming he's not swatting you -- if he were, I suppose you would tell us. But he is certainly treating you with zero respect. Make a list -- it need not be written down, it can be in your head -- of what's good and bad about your marriage. How much do the pros outweigh the cons? How many of the cons are fixable, or are things that you can take care of on your own?

Think about these things. Emotional abuse is just about as bad as physical. You don't have to live like this.

You don't have to take it.

In a nutshell

Good comments, Jespah, I very much agree.

maddie--

I'm with Jes and Panz and Osso.

Your husband's behavior--as you describe it-- is abusive. Four intelligent people have agreed with you.

Now, what are you going to do about the situation? We're here if you want to make plans--or if you just want to vent.

Maddie,

Your husband's behaviour is unacceptable in my opinion.

Now it's a matter of whether you really wan to do anything about this situation? I hope you choose to take action upon this matter as these are early warning signs that may escalate.

Thanks
Yes, I should go to counseling. I'm very well aware of what they would say...my only problem is that I have a very sick baby...he's been in and out of hospital for major issues, and has physical, occupational and speech therapy. He is recoverable, and I believe he is, but I need as much help as possible (especially until he's three). Quite frankly, I don't think this guy should get off that easy with back to the singles life, bar scene, etc. He has three other kids and barely calls them, and I think men like this should be held acountable. So therein, my friend, lies my state of what to do. I will probably never here of this guy again, except the payment in the mail. I feel he should participate. He probably is treating me this way HOPING I will let him off the hook. He is a US Marine. Impressive eh?

Sick baby or no, you sound as though you can no longer visualize the possiblity of a better life.

You are not going to nag this guy into good behavior, you know that. Why are you hanging on? A tense, unhappy home is not good for any child, sick or well.

YOu are right, but...
Yes, I know. As far as nagging him, I agree...that will not work. He does help with the baby though...and, physcially it is very demanding. I really need the help. It could be a difference of him recovering or not. So that is the story...I wish I had better family support, especially locally. It's a bummer being in this situation, but I try to avoid confrontations with him now, and I don't try to change him. I have accepted that we will not recover or make it, and I have accepted that I probably won't be with anyone again. This has been the most emotionally draining 2 years, and I couldn't imagine ever embarking on another relationship...I just want my baby well...then, I will be happy. People are such lucky to have such little issues besides health. If you are well, you can get over anything...if you want to.

Re: My husband calls me names




I think it's time you've parted. He seems very immature and you don't need the phisical violence enter your home as well after the verbal.

If you think that three years of Bleak and Unrewarding is in the best interests of your children, prepare to endure.