Vaccination issue: Would I be wrong?

I'm not broken up over it.

I was being extreme on both sides to make a point.

And read back through some of the things I said - since I really do not want to repeat myself. It seems to be a theme in your postings here - (maybe you are just being extreme and venting on here and you really are not that undiplomatic) since your first post it has almost always been about how people react to what you say or do.

Yes and his balance is to protect the elderly. That is ok. And it really is not asking much of others to simply wear a mask - it does appear (and I am not actually there but just going on what I am reading here) - he rubs people the wrong way and probably why he gets the reactions he does.

just guessing here

Well Neptune,

If you are ever in the Boston Area, or the Guadalajara area (I am in Mexico about 50% of the time now), I would be happy to have you over for coffee. Don't worry, all my family is vaccinated. But I am pretty easy going that way.

Ew. No.

Well - I am not sure if this from experience or not but since you said so I believe you.

I do think this is a different situation. It is not about being right, but about being safe. When I drive - I do not start the car until everyone has a seatbelt on. It is about safety for me not about me being right. Sorry get out of the car if you do not put on the seatbelt. Yes, there is a low chance of the need for the seatbelt from point A to B but I will not feel it is safe to drive unless they are buckled.

If you have children in your home and you have an attack dog - your rules are no one is to do near the dog. Well the kids want to - do you not allow it to be right? Do you allow it because the family says they will not come over any more with these rules? No you enforce these rules for the safety of the children - I know this is extreme but it made so to make it crystal clear - there is a difference between safety rules and being right rules.

Now yes, there are situations (way too many) where one's need to be right causes a family rift. I know of family members that did not go to their dad's funereal even because of this. I know of a cousin who would not go to my wedding because her mom was going all due to being "right" over forgiving and caring.

But to me this is not the situation - however, Barry has had many of these just in the short time he has posted here.

And if these rules are idiotic (I am guessing they are not) and are extreme - you likely will have relatives not coming over. - Well and they may be "normal" rules and if you have crazy friends or relatives - same may be true --

But as adults we should all know that is the choice you make.

Maybe that is why you implemented these rules to keep certain people from venturing over! (may be a smart move)

Well, since the flu had all but disappeared, Barry could ask them if they've had a flu-like illness in the last year or so. If they have, then it was most likely Covid, and therefore they will have natural immunity.

Well that's scientific!

Did you not look at any of the science studies I linked to?

They are not fake science. But they do point directly at the fake science.

Barry - I think the main point everyone is making here is not What you say, but How. You did not discuss this with your wife prior to acting. You told her. She is 50% of your relationship, which includes your home.

Do you not think it would have been more meaningful and respectful to have initiated this conversation with her before doing anything? You would have gotten her on board on this issue, she could have spoken with her sons about it, and she would have appreciated being consulted. Voila - issue dealt with.

I think in this case you were a little heavy-handed. YOU decided, YOU acted, and she was left to deal with it. That's not fair in any relationship.

I think you should apologize to her and tell her you'll discuss things with her prior to you taking any action. I would not like my husband setting arbitrary rules in my home. And I certainly would not do anything like this without consulting him. We're partners!

Another thing you could have done, and still could do, is place a Masks Mandatory sheet on your front door so it doesn't pinpoint your stepsons.

And as far as your parents, they have mouths - they can tell any visitors to pull up or put on their mask. I think you're using them a little bit as an excuse to get your way.

All in all, this is one more example of a lack of communication and cooperation. I wonder if you see that.

"You did not discuss this with your wife prior to acting. You told her. She is 50% of your relationship, which includes your home."

The point you're missing is that I did discuss it with my wife. Now, she choose not to respond so in most instances silence = acceptance. Had she objected the time to say something was last night. And again, she admitted to herself that she sent her son's a text to tell them they now had to wear a mask inside our house. No one is asking them to give up a kidney or their next born child, but simply to wear a mask inside our house since they are not vaccinated.

"Do you not think it would have been more meaningful and respectful to have initiated this conversation with her before doing anything?"

And again, this was discussed with her beforehand. I didn't send out my text till today when the one step-son came in with his mask on his chin. I guess he thought he could bypass the rules but putting it on his face and over his ears but not over his nose and mouth. If someone says they want to talk to you about something and while they are talking you don't respond can you walk away saying there was no discussion? No, you just chose not to respond. Unless you voice your opinion or objection or possible alternatives then you are pretty much saying you agree with whatever the person is saying. Trust me, I'm not trying to be combative here but when I told my wife we need to start making her sons wear their masks inside our home since they are not vaccinated, she said nothing but she did text them later to inform them of that. To me that's acceptance with no discussion from her.

"YOU decided, YOU acted, and she was left to deal with it. That's not fair in any relationship."

I think you're making more out of this than it actually was / is. It's not like I went to the bank and took all our life savings to buy a new truck for myself. I just said that if they come over they need to wear a mask. Why all the backlash? They can still come over but for the safety of us and our elderly parents we just ask that you keep your mask on. I do not see that as overstepping any bounds I have in this marriage. And what is there to discuss? Her sons aren't vaccinated and we don't know where they go or who they are around when they're not here with us. There is no compromise here. "You can come 2 days a week and not wear a mask but the other times you have to keep it on." That's ridiculous.

And what's wrong with getting my way in my own house for the safety of those we come in contact with when we're not in our house. Anywhere we go we still wear our masks even though we are fully vaccinated so why should we throw caution to the wind in our own home? Again, no one is asking them to give up a kidney, be tested prior to coming into our home, or dye their hair orange. We're just asking them to keep a mask on since they are not vaccinated.

Can you learn to use the quote function here, it makes the posts a lot clearer.

I do not know how to do that. Please enlighten me.

There should be three boxes above each post, reply, quote and report.

Instead of hitting reply hit quote and you will get the full post you're replying to.

You can then edit accordingly just to get the parts you're responding yo.

I don't get those options. All I see are reply and report. No quote option at all.

go to My Preferences at the bottom of the page.

change Show quote button to Yes



i don't know why the quote button is opt in...

Thanks, I got it figured out. Not sure why you have to opt in for that quote button to come up.

It's one of life's big mysteries.