Fri 22 Oct, 2021 02:59 pm
Hello, This is going to be long, but i'm just tired of keeping this in my head and i want to talk about it. So i'm a 21 yo male, i'm from an Arabic country, in most of my life i didn't interact with females outside of my family except for business or formal purposes, and i get nervous when i talk to women. I traveled to a foreign country to study, and after few months i wanted to have sex so i decided to go to a place where you could pay for sex (it's somewhat safe and girls there get tested on regularly), so i liked a girl and went with her to the room, i got so nervous i even started shaking in the shower, but she noticed and relaxed me (i wasn't hard at the time), so we had oral at first and i got so horny and hard. so we started having sex but i couldn't keep an erection, so we went back to oral, and then i got hard again, but then the same thing happened i got soft, and it kept going on that way until i became so nervous. I went home and i was not feeling good at all. after few months i did the same thing, and the same **** happened again, now you could find this funny but it makes me feel bad, really bad, i did that for like 12 times and the same **** keeps happening to me, i don't know what's wrong with me, i even tried viagra and id didnt work, so i thought maybe i'm gay, so i went on a date with a handsome guy, and the same **** happened. I'm really in a state now where i just want an answer. If any one could help me or could give me an advice i would really appreciate that.
thanks and sorry for making this too long.
There is a huge gap between “no real history with girls, feeling nervous around them” and full on intercourse. And having oral sex performed on you is distance enough for you to have an erection - but then loose it when there is anything more. You are moving too fast and putting pressure on yourself in an activity that is overwhelming yourself.
I suggest you have some work to do to get comfortable enough around women. That means dating and taking part in sports, or other recreational and social activities where you will form friendships and get to know other people. This fear of women must be resolved.
Good luck. Take your time to form quality relationships.
You’re having performance anxiety because of your lack of interaction with women for most of your life. Sex can be intimidating especially for the first time. You shouldn’t rush to it just because and let it happen for you. Build connections with women and be able to communicate before you leap to sex. Good luck!