Is this unacceptable or is he interested?

Reply Wed 22 Sep, 2021 03:58 am
Had been talking to a guy for a few months on Instagram and we slowly built up the courage to meet. He had messaged me first quite a few times before I had responded. I then realised it was a few months and I hadn't responded so I messaged him. We spoke for probably a whole month before the meeting. He has offered breakfast/study dates before too. We ended up going out for dinner. Had very good chats, seems like a really lovely guy and nothing sexual. The odd compliment, but in good taste. Some cute messages to each other, like him sending me photos of what he does for work and him telling me that he often thinks about me. He told me he was a bit nervous before picking me up. He picked me up from my house and before he got to mine, he texted me saying would I like him to meet my parents or just pick me up. He paid for dinner and it went really well in terms of chats, felt like a really caring and respectful guy, talked about family and all those nice things.
He dropped me home and did not indicate anything about going back to his which was good. He asked if I would like to do this again and I said yes. When we got back to my house to drop me home, my mother was just coming home and he waited and said hello to her. He then said she was lovely. I could tell he wanted to kiss as he sort of just kept looking at me, I said something and then we kissed. He messaged me a few hours later thanking me, kept in on and off-contact for the week, he told me he was tired but good. He asked about my plans for the weekend and I did the same, he is very busy and works in the medical field. He hasn't mentioned anything about catching up again. He asked about a job interview over the weekend and I didn't respond till about 5 days later, however, in my mind, because it was worded like 'job interview? nice' but then realised I should have responded. I told him I am a bit shy too. We texted a bit more but it seemed to go nowhere so I messaged him that I was under the assumption he was going to initiate something again as he asked me, that there are certain things I won’t stand for and that I wish him all the best. I sent the message on Instagram at 11pm and I noticed he opened it at 2am; perhaps he intentionally left it and then woke up thinking about it.
He responded with ‘Sorry I wasn't able to reply immediately, I have been thinking about my answer. I'm sorry if it came across that way. You're not someone I would do that with and I had hoped to get to know you better and see where things go. I am busy but I should have more time once exams are finished. I do want to see you again so I apologise for not initiated’ I told him I supported him and that I don’t expect him to keep in contact but I would like to be at least aware if he wants to see me again. He opened that message and didn’t respond. Then almost 4 days later, I sent a message saying that it appears this is all too difficult and that I’m sure he can find other willing participants but it’s not going to be me. He didn’t respond to that, so I sent a final text saying that I feel I had been let up the garden path as previously he would send me messages saying that if I didn’t want to hang out, it’s ok and they became quite annoying. He would send messages like ‘so you don’t want to study this weekend Sad‘ I said that I find it hard to believe he can go weeks/months without seeing me if he’s that interested. That I don’t necessarily want anything serious and am open to something slow but this is pitiful. That he’s had weeks now to suggest a time when he’s free from exams but he hasn’t. I sent him 3-4 messages before he finally replied. His reply was “Sorry I wanted to give you a proper response when I had some time. You’ve made some great points and I’m sorry I’ve been absent. Exam is in 2 weeks and I would have loved to have hung out with you after. I realise I have been hot and cold. In about 2 weeks I’ll have a lot more time but I’m going to ask you to wait” I asked if he wants to see me and that I’ve still yet to receive any real date from you when this would be happening and even if he’s not intentionally doing it, I feel quite strung on. He opened that and didn’t respond. I sent him a final message this morning saying that he’s not clutching to even respond, that he’s should have been more proactive since as he would suggest things previously. That I feel frustrated with this and have had enough. Opened that and no response yet either. If we did catch up in 2 weeks, that would have been 6 weeks since we first met. He finally replied asking if I would like his number and if we wanted to study this weekend. I said after his exams is fine and he said that’s very gracious of me. I didn’t respond and that was a week ago. Whether it's because I said I don't expect him to message me asking how I am a few weeks ago but he hasn't really made much of an effort during his exam period to keep in touch.


**TL;DR** date went really well with a guy, appears to like me. We met 3 weeks ago. He asked if I wanted to do this again at the end of the date. He is busy, works in the medical field. The only concern is that we still communicate via Instagram DM.
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Reply Fri 24 Sep, 2021 11:16 am
I think right now you may want to look elsewhere. This guy is focused on his education, which is his #1 priority. In a way is to be respected. However, I don't think he will give you the attention you are seeking and you will continue to be frustrated even if you do hang out again. He may be a good person...so maybe stay in touch as a friend...but look for someone that has more time to have fun and meet you wher you're at today then maybe someday, when the timing is right, you and this gent will connect romantically.
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