Help Me save My relationship

Okay.
My name is Yess. I have a long distance relationship with an amazing woman in Jamaica... I am not perfect. With that being said I do make mistakes however the biggest issue im facing is that my wife doesn't believe things I tell her are right and wrong. She believes im being controlling.

Recently she had a long term friend reach out to me. At first he was kind. This was to prove to me he was harmless I suppose. We talked for a week via whatsapp. After awhile he started to get smug and cocky.. basically fishing for information from me. After he found out we were not really married he attacked. Told me how he would make her his wife, how I was nothing, how he would send her money so she wouldnt have to depend on me any more.. and the list goes on.

A month ago after the incident, I asked her if she is still in contact. She told me he emailed her and wished her a good early happy birthday to which she responds thank you..


Now I snapped when I heard the news as I was under the impression she cut all ties after what happened. Now I may have lost her.

Situation:
1.She is saying I dumped her when angrily I told her " She gotta go".
2.She says she did nothing wrong in responding to him and all her people who she discussed this with are saying there was nothing wrong with her actions.
3. I believe that the reasons we argue isn't quite culture anymore. I believe she has someone who is giving her wrong advice on purpose so she quarrels with me often as she feels just when these things happen..

Question?
Do you believe it is okay for someone to respond to anyone who tells their partner that, "I will take them from you, they want me, and your pathetic "