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Sat 23 Jul, 2005 09:47 am
Governmentium
A major research institution has recently announced the discovery of the
heaviest element yet known to science. The new element has been named Governmentium."
Governmentium has 1 neutron, 12 assistant neutrons, 75 deputy neutrons, and 11 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312.
Forces called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of
lepton-like particles called peons, hold these particles together. Since
Governmentium has no electrons; it is inert. However, it can be detected,
as it impedes every reaction with which it comes into contact. A minute
amount of Governmentium causes 1 reaction to take over 4 days to complete, when it would normally take less than a second.
Governmentium has a normal 1/2-life of 4 years; it does not decay, but
instead undergoes a reorganization in which a portion of the assistant
neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places. In fact, Governmentium's
mass will actually increase over time, since each reorganization will cause
more morons to become neutrons, forming isodopes.
This characteristic of moron-promotion leads some scientists to believe
that Governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a certain quantity in concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred to as "Critical
Morass."
When catalyzed with money, Governmentium becomes Administratium - an element which radiates just as much energy, since it has 1/2 as many peons but twice as many morons.
Governmentium - the heaviest element known to science.
The lightest element known to science as anarchium or more recently libertarium. They are so light they add a new slant to the joke "What is the lightest thing in the world." The answer, of course, is a penus. Even a thought can lift it. Penuses describe a world which is made of pee-ons, so to speak. These pee-ons, constitute 98% of libertarium. The liberteria feel that a 98% - 2% difference is unacceptale. They need more power and all the help they can get. So they are looking for a minimum difference of 99% - 1%. This belief is based, more or less, on the axiom "less is more."
Liberteria are known as air heads. The lightest, almost weightless Liberterium is called "Airiest." The heaviest is called "Dirty Airie."
I hope this clears up any confusion and vaporizes into "Healyeeum." Healyeeum is a negative element. It is the most revered of all Liberteria. . . . . ..
Oh, I remember "less is more." I recall it became popular at the same time medicine bottles came with the instructions "Push down while pulling up."
Lady J,
I thought your humor based on Governmentium was great!
I thought that for an off-the-top-of-the-head- response mine
was at least oK. But I didn't expect no reponse.
Perhaps you should send it to politics. I'll make the same response.????
BillyFalcon wrote:Lady J,
I thought your humor based on Governmentium was great!
I thought that for an off-the-top-of-the-head- response mine
was at least oK. But I didn't expect no reponse.
Perhaps you should send it to politics. I'll make the same response.????
Billy,
Your response was really just off the top of your head? Wow! I think it was great!!
I certainly do apologize for
not responding, as it was indeed worthy of many responses. Sometimes when a thread heads off of the "todays" threads, I forget to look at the archives of My Posts to see what I may have missed. I am glad you brought this back to the forefront so you could finally get a response from me.
And I really, really liked it very much.
Very witty, humorous and makes a whole lotta sense on the other end of that spectrum!
Re: Governmentium
Lady J wrote:Governmentium
Lady J, this is choice! If you write a bunch of similar pieces, you could make a book of them and give Anne Coulter competition! :wink:
Why thank you, diagknowz. I only wish I could claim full credit for its entirety, but I am not a plagiarist, thank goodness.
I am glad that you enjoyed it though. I know I did and hoped that others would get a kick out of it too.
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