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Does it mean he is not serious?

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NoNe
 
Reply Thu 21 Jul, 2005 12:08 am
I have a BF, whom I really love. These days I am going especially crazy:The only thing that he is going to work and I will not see him all day makes me extremely sad. I want to be with him all the time, I love him so much...But he never would mention anything like marriage...I tried to talk to him couple times about that, but he would say:"We'll see." Or will say that he is busy and cannot talk about that. Sometimes I ge scared:What if he does not take me serious and I am pushing him to do what he actually does not have intentions to do? Do u know the feeling when u want to be a WIFE to a person, not a GF or a lover? Whenever I think about it, I feel like it will end up someday. He says he loves me, but whenever I say that I want a baby, or just make a joke about babies, he turns pale and says "no babies, dammnnnn, do not say that again" Mad
I love him, and so scared to lose him. What do u think, is it the right way to feel, or am I just a freak? Crying or Very sad Crying or Very sad
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Type: Discussion • Score: 1 • Views: 1,169 • Replies: 13
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material girl
 
  1  
Reply Thu 21 Jul, 2005 01:51 am
Your not a freak but dont push him into doing things as serious as having a kid or getting married.
Both are lifelong commitments, very serious steps.Not everyone will jump at the chance to do these things.
It doesnt mean he doesnt love you, just he hasnt got the the stage where he wants the same things as you.It may happen one day, it may not.
0 Replies
 
Phoenix32890
 
  1  
Reply Thu 21 Jul, 2005 05:46 am
Quote:
Does it mean he is not serious?


NoNe- It seems that way. Apparently, the two of you have different expectations about the nature of your relationship. If it is marriage that you want, I think that you had better look elsewhere.

By the way, what are your ages?
0 Replies
 
Noddy24
 
  1  
Reply Thu 21 Jul, 2005 07:00 am
And how long have you been an official couple?
0 Replies
 
Gargamel
 
  1  
Reply Thu 21 Jul, 2005 08:36 am
Yeah, how long y'all have been together should be taken into consideration.

And it doesn't mean he's not serious. I'm not into male/feamle stereotypes, but every guy has that friend who knocked up his girlfriend, and then all of his big plans went out the window. Committment scares me sometimes, but I do want to get married and have kids.

Peoples' ideas of families differ. I am in my mid-twenties. I have a group of friends who got married right out of college. I have another group of friends that are getting married now, but don't want to have kids for another six or seven years.
0 Replies
 
JLLLLLL
 
  1  
Reply Thu 21 Jul, 2005 12:20 pm
Re: Does it mean he is not serious?
NoNe wrote:
I have a BF, whom I really love. These days I am going especially crazy:The only thing that he is going to work and I will not see him all day makes me extremely sad. I want to be with him all the time, I love him so much...But he never would mention anything like marriage...I tried to talk to him couple times about that, but he would say:"We'll see." Or will say that he is busy and cannot talk about that. Sometimes I ge scared:What if he does not take me serious and I am pushing him to do what he actually does not have intentions to do? Do u know the feeling when u want to be a WIFE to a person, not a GF or a lover? Whenever I think about it, I feel like it will end up someday. He says he loves me, but whenever I say that I want a baby, or just make a joke about babies, he turns pale and says "no babies, dammnnnn, do not say that again" Mad
I love him, and so scared to lose him. What do u think, is it the right way to feel, or am I just a freak? Crying or Very sad Crying or Very sad
how old are you and where are you from. and if yu dont mind what dose he do or what is his job.
0 Replies
 
JLLLLLL
 
  1  
Reply Thu 21 Jul, 2005 12:24 pm
Re: Does it mean he is not serious?
NoNe wrote:
I have a BF, whom I really love. These days I am going especially crazy:The only thing that he is going to work and I will not see him all day makes me extremely sad. I want to be with him all the time, I love him so much...But he never would mention anything like marriage...I tried to talk to him couple times about that, but he would say:"We'll see." Or will say that he is busy and cannot talk about that. Sometimes I ge scared:What if he does not take me serious and I am pushing him to do what he actually does not have intentions to do? Do u know the feeling when u want to be a WIFE to a person, not a GF or a lover? Whenever I think about it, I feel like it will end up someday. He says he loves me, but whenever I say that I want a baby, or just make a joke about babies, he turns pale and says "no babies, dammnnnn, do not say that again" Mad
I love him, and so scared to lose him. What do u think, is it the right way to feel, or am I just a freak? Crying or Very sad Crying or Very sad
where are you from and how old are you. if you don mind me asking.
0 Replies
 
NoNe
 
  1  
Reply Thu 21 Jul, 2005 03:09 pm
My age, location has nothing to do with that. All I can say is that none of us-neither him nor me are minors, or kids. If he is a man enough to have sex with me, to tell me what he likes or does not, why is not he man enough to tell me about his intentions? Everytime I try to talk to him about my position, I mean about What I am to him he will be like "Damn, baby, do u want me to get nervous again? Do u want to make me sad?
Why should this questions make him sad?!
I am so confused.
Oh yeah, yesterday I was acting a little bit wierd, two hours I could not sleep, I wanted to talk to him and tell him how Much I love him. Have you ever loved anybody that much, that when he says he loves you, u cannot stop urself from crying? It is so deep and heavy, makes me sick. Crying or Very sad Razz
0 Replies
 
Bella Dea
 
  1  
Reply Thu 21 Jul, 2005 03:17 pm
This sounds borderline obsessive honey. If you cry every time he says I love you, I am more worried about YOUR committment than his. You are freaking him out! I'd freak out if my honey cried every time I said I love you. Sheesh.

Be honest with him. He probably loves you but is feeling suffocated by your love. Tell him how you feel and why you do the things you do. He might suprise you.
0 Replies
 
NoNe
 
  1  
Reply Thu 21 Jul, 2005 03:40 pm
Bella Dea wrote:
This sounds borderline obsessive honey. If you cry every time he says I love you, I am more worried about YOUR committment than his. You are freaking him out! I'd freak out if my honey cried every time I said I love you. Sheesh.

Be honest with him. He probably loves you but is feeling suffocated by your love. Tell him how you feel and why you do the things you do. He might suprise you.

Well, I did not say EVERYTIME, Just for couple days, I forgot to mention that he is leaving for some days, I do not want him to leave me, but I respect his choice. So I was like, baby, If you want to go there and have some fun, U definetely should go. He is going to Vegas, and did not even invite me, saying "U've been there more than enough times" Shocked Confused
LOL. What woud you do if your BF/Husband is going to Vegas, and says U should stay home, cuz U've been there a lot of times? Razz
0 Replies
 
Noddy24
 
  1  
Reply Thu 21 Jul, 2005 04:05 pm
NoNe--

He does not want to get married.

He does not want to talk about getting married.

He wants to go to Vegas without you.

I think he is more important to you than you are to him and your relationship will end before long.
0 Replies
 
ASpoonBean
 
  1  
Reply Thu 21 Jul, 2005 08:18 pm
If my boyfriend was going to Vegas and told me to stay home I would find a new boyfriend.
0 Replies
 
NoNe
 
  1  
Reply Thu 21 Jul, 2005 08:50 pm
Yall suck (kidding) Laughing Laughing
I would rather like to hear that he loves me, but I am a freak Laughing Laughing
0 Replies
 
subtleone
 
  1  
Reply Fri 22 Jul, 2005 02:07 am
NoNe,

You deserve to be an equal partner in this relationship; right now, it sounds like you are not. He decides when the two of you can talk, what you talk about, whether or not you can go to Las Vegas, etc. You are being treated unfairly and your feelings of love are being taken for granted and taken advantage of.

If I were in a relationship where I had no say in what was happening and I was being taken advantage of, I'd leave. I know it's hard, especially when you love someone so much, but after awhile, we must re-evaluate exactly what it is that we're hanging on to. How your significant other treats you is part of who they are. It is true that part of loving someone is accepting who they are unconditionally, but when you start making concessions with regard to how you and others are treated by this person, it's time to end it.

I apologize if this is difficult to hear, but I believe from your accounts that the day will come when this man will begin to physically abuse you, given that he cares so little for your feelings and asserts so much power over you now. Have confidence in the person you can be without him.

Let me know what you think about this...

-m
0 Replies
 
 

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