A gift for an ex

My advice is no. He has made it clear that he wants out of the relationship, and it's been quite a while, plus, like you said, he did not contact you on your birthday. He clearly wants to remain broken up; I think you will regret it if you try to patch things up -- I think you will end up looking desperate no matter what you do.

Sorry 'bout that.

Did you save the receipt? Can you return the gift for cash or credit? If yes to both, NO.

No.

It also depends on the size of the gift and your intentions. I exchanged gifts with an ex a few times after we broke up (but we both did) -- they were all things that we happened across and were on sale/ cheap and just seemed perfect. They weren't given or received with any intention of getting back together, just little tokens (probably nothing cost more than $5) that happened to jump out at each of us.

I think if you are absolutely fine with giving it and having nothing come of it -- no thank-you, no contact, no nothing -- go ahead. If there is anything in the relationship or with mutual friends that is already predisposed to flaring up with any sign of desperation on your part, avoid it.

I would say no.

I once dated a guy for over 8 years. We broke up - we left on good terms. Nine months later he gave me a Christmas gift. I thought it really odd. It gave me the impression that he wanted to get back together and I had no intention of that. The really strange thing was I ended up using that gift (it was a gourment food sort of gift - I love cooking) to make my current boyfriend (now husband) dinner.

No. Do not give him a birthday present--or any other sort of gift.

This guy is no longer your lover--he's a piece of your past. The gift would be more likely to annoy him than to please him.

Do you really want other people hearing from him that you are you are desperate? That you can't let go? That you have no life?

That romance is over--and has been over.

What have you been doing this year to get over your heartache and move on?

Re: A gift for an ex
thats it i agree with every one else don't go making waves where they are not wanted. hit the gym and start a new. and hit the sauna to.

Why the sauna?

No, don't give him the present - it's inappropirate now.

Sweat him out of the system, CJ, of course.

I have no problem giving presents to an ex or getting one from them - still good friends with a lover of way back.

But in this case - you're still so much in love, he obviously isn't, he is determined enough to be out of touch to not have sent you any message for your birthday - yeah. Let go.

If next year you'll still want to give him a present, you can always still do so - I mean, if you're OK with the possible prospect of getting no reaction back. But right now it sounds like you'll only just get an embarassed silence or even an expression of annoyance - when you yourself are still all raw with sensitivity. Wont do nothing for your self-confidence or stability of mind. Leave it be. At least for now.

Well said, Nimh.