Your sexuality and your gender are two separate things.
Your gender is how you present yourself, either as male, female or non binary. Non binary people do not see themselves as male or female but as a mixture of both or somewhere outside of the gender binary altogether. Some genderfluid people even have male and female days, and often use pronouns they/them.
That’s a general term, people are individuals, there are no hard and fast rules, it’s whatever you feel comfortable with.
Sexuality is who you feel attracted to. Some asexual people don’t like sex and don’t want it, but others don’t mind doing it if they are with someone they care about. Many asexuals have romantic attachments with others.
There are no hard and fast rules and it’s quite possible to be asexual yet have a particular fetish. A lot of S&M stuff results in catharsis not orgasm.
Don’t let anybody else tell you what you are.