Confused what I'm aroused by

Hey all, thanks for checking out my thread. I’ve created this thread because sexuality wise, I’ve always thought there’s something different about me compared to everyone else, and it’s something that I’ve always been confused and concerned by for years. It’s also quite intimate and personal, so I understand if it comes across as confusing more than anything. It’s more to do with my own sexual arousal and what I’m specifically attracted to.

For clarity, I do know I am gay, so I’m not confused about my own sexuality. Instead, it’s more to do with *how I am gay. Now of course I know that’s beyond our own current understanding, but I can’t help but ask about this still. When it comes to my own arousal, not only am I not interested at all in a man’s privates at all, but specifically it’s another part of the man’s body that only gets me aroused. I know the first thing to come to mind of this is that’s probably just a fetish of some sort, but I strongly don’t think it is because it’s much more than that. It’s certainly not the equivalent of appreciating another person’s legs, arse or other stuff such as clothing. I’ve tried researching it, but literally nothing at all sounds like what I have, it’s neither a paraphilia, it’s literally the main thing I’m sexually attracted to men.

This thing doesn’t exactly scare me, but I really don’t believe it’s normal. I know that some may say it doesn’t matter how I’m gay, but it nevertheless makes me feel very different in general. I’m anxious how complicated I’ll probably be for future relationships, since it means there’s so many basic sexual activities I’m simply not interested in doing with a man. It even makes me sad since I don’t relate at all to general sex among the gay community since I’m not interested at all in a man’s privates.

I wish I could share what it is, but I’m just gonna leave it at that as it’s a personal thing for me. If anyone has any idea or definition what this could be, I’d love to know. I fully appreciate if this has just come across as confusing (trust me, I have no clue either), but I just can’t help but ask now. If this isn’t really the place to discuss this, please do recommend me to any other forums or sites that may specialise more into this sort of thing. Thanks so much for reading.