Mon 8 Mar, 2021 05:33 pm
Heyy, so this is my first post here.
Don't judge if I write some dumb/over-analyzing stuff haha
I'm looking for some advice and general thoughts on the signs she (and her girl friends) have been giving me. First off I think it'd be good to explain the circumstances of everything;
We're classmates, known her for 1.5y. We're technically in what equates to high school I guess.
Schools have been closed for 3 months here, and aren't opening soon, so it makes things quite difficult.
We seem to agree a lot on politics and what makes a "good person". I especially like her for her ethics, kindness and intelligence.
I'd say we're both fairly introverted, she seems to mostly just hang with her girl friends and isn't exremely active on any other media than Messenger, and a few pics on Insta.
I'll say Me for me,
Her for crush,
Girl1 for her very close friend,
Girl2 for her fairly close friend.
Also, me and both Girl1 and Girl2 definitely do not have anything between us.
Signs of interest (or something) before lockdown:
We had this class event on US election day, where everyone met in our classroom in the evening, ate food, talked and watched election stuff on the whiteboard projector.
I just wanted to point out that Me and Her talked a bit about politics, and while talking she seemed very passionate in telling me about her views, smiled, faced me and had very direct eye contact, which I struggled to hold in return. Now this seems subject to over-analyzing, but still wanted to mention it.
Before the lockdown, Girl1 was beginning to tease me quite a lot. One day in the middle of class she had been speaking with some of the girls, including Her, (didn't overhear anything) and Girl1 randomly turned to me and asked me "Don't you agree Me?" with a funny smile on her face. I think I laughed and then I answered "Yes I agree". Now I had no idea what I said yes to, but it was definitely something funny or flirty, so what the heck.
At the end of the day I asked Girl1 jokingly what it even was that I agreed to, and she sarcastically (but in a friendly and teasing way) that they had talked about just how much Girl1 loves me (She obviously does not). So that was a very funny and awkward situation lol, I wonder what I actually agreed to.
So on one of the last days before lockdown, a few people from the class, including me, Her, Girl1 and Girl2, went out drinking at a bar to celebrate our last moments of freedom.. (sitting in our own designated portion of the bar, and wearing masks when getting up of course)
We were probably 10-15 people from the class, and we all had a lot of fun throughout the evening.
Now fast forward, the bar is closing at 10 and at this time we're all pretty tipsy, and it's Me, Her, Girl1, Girl2, Girl3, Guy1 and Guy2 left. It's a pretty safe city, so we just wandered around for some time and end up settling at a train station. Girl1+Guy1 and Girl3+Guy2 end up wandering off like a few hundred feet.
Now it's Me, Her and Girl2 standing together talking. Now we're all a bit tipsy, and we're talking and joking about the 2 couples that wandered off, when Girl2 suddenly points out that Me and Her would make a great/cute couple. I don't remember it as being awkward, but I don't think either of us commented on it. I definitely felt a bit fuzzy though haha.
Then the night continued, and we all went on our ways not too long after.
Now some different signs from Her during lockdown
We don't/didn't really write too much before lockdown, maybe 30 messages each in total, mostly about school stuff help.
Not too long ago we randomly got into a 2-person breakout Team during school, and we did the school stuff and then started conversating. Just usual stuff like assignment stress and how we want to go back to school, but didn't feel awkward at all and the conversation was very fluid. Had been a long time ago since we last dm'ed about anything, but then that same day she asked a bunch of questions about an assignment we had. Don't think she would've asked me about the assignment if we hadn't talked earlier, but not gonna think too much about it.
Then I got my sh*t together (yes I'm a bit scared haha) and I initiated a pretty damn long text conversation with her, mostly about our recent very big assignment and our "Position grades" we just received. Then the next day she initiates conversation back, and we talk about another assignment we have. Not too much of a personal conversation, but still very fluid with long answers etc.
The next day we don't write, and the day after it's the deadline of the assignment, so we write about it again. She didn't even need my help yet the other day, cause she didn't begin before this day.
I'm known in my class for generally being very willing to help people and give them advice on our assignments, but I definitely outdid myself a bit with Her, with this assignment. 6 hours before deadline she was pretty stressed, demotivated and had barely done any of the assignment, but I hung on and helped, and tried to motivate her, so in the end she delivered it just like 30 minutes too late (which is fine). I'm definitely not saying I made the assignment for her or anything though lol, she just asked some questions, took advice, and completed the tasks.
Anyway, after all the assignment stress was over I decided to change the conversation to some more friendly/personal conversation.
We talked about secret santa in our class, and how it got abruptly stopped because of lockdown (no one got to reveal or guess theirs, so we talked about who we actually had as secret santa etc). Now it's more a of a fun/personal conversation, and she's still giving equally long replies and telling all sorts of stories about what she did as secret santa when she was younger etc, and how she pranked a lot, generally a lot of funny things that made the conversation interesting. Then she also randomly mentioned how a previous secret santa, a long time ago, had given her a note that said "You're cute - secret santa", and she didn't find out who it was. It was pretty random of her to mention it, but funny nonetheless.
Some things to note from our text convos:
- On average, her replies are probably as long as mine.
- She stretches some words sometimes, but not extremely. Stuff like "Thaank you!" and "Yes saaame hahahha"
- She uses some variation of "haha" in pretty much every 2nd message, usually hahah or hahaha or AHAHAH and sometimes as long as hahahhahaha, depending on the context. It seems very genuine and always fits the context. My previous text doesn't necessarily have to include any form of "haha", and she has still laughed a lot at some of the stuff I wrote, in a positive way of course.
- On the topic of more personal conversations, I don't feel like she initiates them too much. It might be shyness, but whenever she initiates conversation it's always a pretty specific non-personal question, though it might at the same time just be an excuse to text? When we had the more personal conversations, it was mostly me who initiated them and kept them going with new questions, BUT she definitely still gave long replies that contributed to the conversation and kept the conversation interesting and fun with her replies.
What do you think about that, is it shyness or something else? She likes to conversate, also about more personal things, but she doesn't seem to initiate those conversations at the start though.
So thanks to anyone who actually read that whole novel haha, I appreciate it. So what are your thoughts on some of the different signs she has given? Which of them do I read too much into, and what did I possibly agree to with Girl1? Thank youu
A couple of random thoughts.
1. You say you are in the equivalent of high school. So I take it you are not in the US. Is that correct?
2. I ask for a couple of reasons. First, if you are that young, you shouldn't be out drinking in bars and getting tipsy. In the US at least, it is illegal and even if it is legal for your age where you are at it is not a good idea to be getting intoxicated. People do and say stupid stuff when in that condition.
3. The point about mentioning 1 and 2 above is this. If you are old enough to be going out drinking and getting tipsy, then you are old enough to man up and ask this girl out on a date rather than asking a bunch of strangers what we think about her behavior.
what did I possibly agree to with Girl1
How in the name of sense do you think anyone here could give you any clue about what you agreed to? Maybe you agreed to a three way with the two of them? Or maybe you agreed to run around campus naked? Or maybe to be a human sacrifice in some satanic ritual they want to perform. Who knows? And at this point I doubt it really matters. Probably just something funny they were talking about and it has been totally forgotten by everyone but you.
Bottom line, whether she likes you or not can only be determined by asking her out. Maybe she says no, and then you will know the "signs" she gave you were all in your head. But then, maybe she says yes, and then you will know that the signs meant that she was interested in you. That is how you figure this out.
In regards to 1 & 2, yes its not US and we're both of legal age to drink. You can buy <16.5% at age 16, and technically it's legal to drink responsibly at any age. For example, if a parent lets their 10y old take a sip of their beer to taste it, it's compeltely fine. Though bars are 18+, but she's very close to 18 anyway and we all know the owner, and just drank beer. Also age of consent works a bit different here too, if you were to ask.
3. Yeaa, I know you're right. Writing in here was just some sort of impulsive decision I guess, but it's very difficult to reflect on these things by yourself, when I don't really want to bother any friends from class or from outside school with ridiculous love talk lol. That on top of lockdown..
And also in regards to the quote, yes of course nobody would really be able to provide a definitive answer to that. I think the question really is, did it have some sort of teaseful/romantic purpose.
But again, as your point is, I'd really be the only one who'd truly be able to answer that, in any capacity. I just feel a bit bad at reading those signals haha
I guess my questions are mostly just self-reflective, it's not really like anyone could answer them.
Before lockdown it definitely felt like *something* was going on, be it romantic or mostly in my head, but lockdown just put a stop to everything. Pretty much everything is closed. Knowing that it'll probably be 2 months until schools open, it just feels plain out wrong and dumb to make any sort of move over text. So at this point, I guess it's just a patience game. Cause even just saying that I'd like to get to know her better feels a bit weird over text, and also when everything is closed down at the same time.
Speculating on what all the good/mysterious signs mean definitely feels pointless to some extent, but I feel like this specific issue is what bugs me the most, and is also a bit more down to earth.
"When we had the more personal conversations, it was mostly me who initiated them and kept them going with new questions, BUT she definitely still gave long replies that contributed to the conversation and kept the conversation interesting and fun with her replies.
What do you think about that, is it shyness or something else? She likes to conversate, also about more personal things, but she doesn't seem to initiate those conversations at the start though."
Should I feel too bad about the fact that she doesn't usually initiate the interesting conversations, when she ends up happily responding and comes with personal stories etc anyway? It might be shyness, but yes it's probably a tough to answer accurately as well. I'm just not sure what to make of it.