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I think I'm attracted to this guy

 
 
Reply Mon 1 Mar, 2021 04:28 pm
I have reason to believe I'm in love with this man at work. I have known him for just under 4 years.

I have been told he does the following:

Stares at me
Asks my friends for any new information about me - where I go, what hours I work, why I haven't come into work (we have worked in separate offices for 3 years- I used to work with him for 18 months - but in the same building)
Asks my friends for photos of me as a child
Tells my male friends he doesn't want them talking to me and tells them he gets angry when they do - even more so when they make me laugh
Tells my female friends that what I write "turns [him] on." I once wrote in response to a question saying what makes one relaxed that I like getting massaged because that helps me to relax (nothing naughty) and he told them that comment "excited" him.
Looks up my skirts/dresses and looks down my tops (not sure what he's hoping to find)
Leers at me
Smiles at me and licks his lips
Walks right up behind me
Looks at my butt (?)
Scans my body up and down

There was one time I was on a dating site, about 2 years ago, and he communicated to me over this dating site through very explicit messages. Another time at work he told me he didn't want me leaving the company for another job, that he would be unhappy if I did. I was off work for 6 weeks due to sickness and according to my friends he told them he was worried I'd left. He's brushed against me in stairwells and put his hands on my lower back.

I do like him, but I was abused as a child and there was one time when this guy took me off, got me alone with him and rubbed his body against mine. I don't have much experience dating men because I was always seen as the ugliest girl anyone at school had ever seen and I was picked on for my looks.

I am debating whether to tell him how I feel, but it's so hard with COVID restrictions. I find him attractive, he has a nice face and really intense dark eyes and he's always helped me.

I told my family about his behaviour and they tell me he sounds like bad news to them - are they right?

Thank you Smile
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Type: Question • Score: 6 • Views: 474 • Replies: 5
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maxdancona
 
  1  
Reply Mon 1 Mar, 2021 04:36 pm
@Amber124,
I agree with your family.
0 Replies
 
cherrie
 
  1  
Reply Mon 1 Mar, 2021 05:00 pm
@Amber124,
I agree with your family too.

This guy is creepy and sleazy, he's pretty much stalking you and why would he want photos of you as a child? That's just weird.

And he's trying to control who you talk to, he gets angry when your male friends speak to you. If he's like this now I would hate to think what he'd be like if you were in a relationship with him.

As for all that about how he looks at you - up your skirt, down your top, leering, licking his lips - that's just repulsive.

0 Replies
 
Linkat
 
  1  
Reply Tue 2 Mar, 2021 08:02 am
@Amber124,
Almost everything you outline here sounds of a creeper.

When I first started reading I thought well maybe he is just unsure of himself thus reaching out to others about you rather than directly speaking with you. Or he is socially awkward resulting in him saying things that might not normally being appropriate --

But when I got to looking up your skirt - no one does that except creepy guys - and as your list continued then none of it sounded good. Not one thing.

I would stay away from this guy he is bad news for sure.
0 Replies
 
Ragman
 
  1  
Reply Wed 3 Mar, 2021 09:01 am
@Amber124,
Amber124 wrote:

I have reason to believe I'm in love with this man at work.


Why?

There’s no indication of why you would love this guy AT ALL! He’s a controlling pervert and you should avoid him like the plague. He’s a sick individual.
0 Replies
 
bulmabriefs144
 
  -1  
Reply Thu 4 Mar, 2021 07:38 am
@Amber124,
Amber, **** COVID restrictions. If he likes you, and you kinda like him, go for it!

Now, he does sound obsessed. But hey, it's only a problem if affection isn't returned. If you like him back, who cares what any of us think?

Two or three people acting like old hens, screeching about how bad he is. It's also your decision.
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