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Husband and the neighbor

 
 
Boabie
 
Reply Wed 24 Feb, 2021 06:06 pm
I have been married for over 20 years. And am decently attractive and in good physical shape. Many years ago my husband cheated on me after the birth of our second child. He cheated with a YMCA receptionist who worked at the location we frequented. It took much work, but we reconciled. Last year my husband began talking with our female neighbor, who is divorced daily. He would go over to her yard, before coming in after work. She would wait on her steps if she saw him pulling up after work. I caught him over her house on the steps at 6:30 AM and I asked him if he had feelings for her. He said he did have feelings for her, and then later tried to change his statement and said he had a crush on her. I put my husband out for days, until we talked. He now claims he didn't know why he said what he said about our neighbor. I tried to tell him I was worried about his communicating with the neighbor in advance of the 6:30 AM incident, but he blew me off! My question is: should I divorce my husband, even though there was no sexual stuff going on? However, I do believe he had an emotional affair. I have to see this neighbor regularly since we live right next door and it is tough..
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Type: Question • Score: 4 • Views: 486 • Replies: 5
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chai2
 
  1  
Reply Wed 24 Feb, 2021 07:28 pm
@Boabie,
You’re assuming this neighbor has any sort of interest in him.

Quite frankly, I’m surprised that someone married 20 years would so bluntly come to the conclusion divorce is the next logical step. Also that you’d ask a bunch of complete strangers this online. You have no idea what kind of loonies, extremists and people who can’t even run their own lives are going to start giving you their wack-a-doodle advice

This is your life. Not anyone else’s.

RABEL222
 
  1  
Reply Wed 24 Feb, 2021 08:36 pm
@chai2,
She is obviously looking for an excuse.
0 Replies
 
NealNealNeal
 
  -1  
Reply Thu 25 Feb, 2021 05:44 am
@Boabie,
Stay married and work on your relationship with your husband.
0 Replies
 
wdh523
 
  0  
Reply Fri 26 Feb, 2021 09:52 pm
@Boabie,
Sounds like your husband has a problem with infidelity and is looking for something he's not getting from his marriage. It is almost never about physical attraction but moreso a lack of compatibility, passion, or stability in the home.

Depending on what his reasoning was for cheating the first time may explain why he keeps going back to that behavior.

Speak with him and see if you can get an honest truth out of him. If he remains secretive then you may have to separate.
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bulmabriefs144
 
  0  
Reply Thu 4 Mar, 2021 08:26 am
@Boabie,
It's not about your physical shape.

Usually cheating is a sign of immaturity. He sees the children at home, and can't handle things. So he's looking for an out.

He doesn't really have feelings for her, though he may even admit that he does. This started after your second child. This man can't handle the responsibility and is hoping you'll let him off the hook. It's up to you whether you're cool with that, but commit to your decision. You want him as your neighbour rather than your husband, commit to no longer being jealous. You wanna keep him responsible, then commit to being tougher on him.
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