Rejection Over Coronavirus?

Reply Fri 20 Nov, 2020 08:23 am
Have any you experienced rejection by others because you weren't clean enough or didn't follow the rules or "the science"?

I ask because I haven't worn a mask since this COVID-19 thing. And not likely to, because I literally start hyperventilating when I do. I think I have some phobia about suffocating.
As a result, I am likely to be left at the door this Thanksgiving because my sister is a germaphobe and fully buys into this disease. I do know that relationships have completely broken down. I've lost friends, I've had people tell me I'm an idiot, or "why don't you just wear a mask?" Fine, why don't you go have a spider or a snake climb on you, or go climb up on a Ferris wheel to prove you aren't afraid of heights or falling. No? Then I won't put up with that either.

No, I am not a superspreader. No, I do not go out and get people sick then cackle maniacally. I don't go anywhere that I'm not welcomed inside. Which is damned few places honestly. So if she says no, I'm gonna insist on spending the rest of the night in the car. Not having any turkey, not getting to meet my nephew and niece, just sitting alone the whole night in a cold car, reading books until I can't anymore, crying myself to sleep.

This whole thing is not Biblical. In fact, the Bible specifically says that none of us are supposed to go around being safe. It instead talks about taking up ones cross and being willing to endure suffering. It talks about how Sodom and Gomorrah are nuked by brimstone after they treat guests poorly and try to rape them.
Edit [Moderator]: Link removed
I think Micah talks about doing justice and loving mercy/kindness. Is it just to value safety over your own kin? And Jesus paints a picture of hospitality: feeding the hungry, quenching the thirsty, welcoming the stranger, visiting the imprisoned, and clothing the naked. And he sats that the least of these, how they are treated is a good measure of whether or not Jesus will accept them. And then Revelation talks about people being lukewarm (indifferent) and being spit out, and there's this passage about Jesus standing at the doorway knocking, and if welcomed is going to supper. So maybe I get a Thanksgiving dinner this year, or maybe I'm turned aside and sent away hungry.

I think whenever this thing does end, and people stand in Judgement, they are likely to have alot of explaining to do about how they treated friends and family.

What about you? Will you also tell me how evil I am for not wearing a mask? Or will you welcome me, and try to understand how I've been hurting these last several months being completely cut off from others?
Reply Fri 20 Nov, 2020 08:33 am
Wow, you're really passive aggressive.

Sitting in the car? Crying yourself to sleep like a drama queen? Oh FFS. Just don't go in the first place. Problem solved.*

Using the bible to prove your point is, well, I don't know what to do with that.

But be that as it may, if you have a phobia then you have one and that's all there is to it. However, I do wonder how you go to the grocery, unless you're ordering it for delivery (and perhaps you are).

I highly recommend you talk to a doctor on telehealth about your fears and see about getting some treatment for them so that they stop running your life.

And maybe stop dismissing your sister's concerns if you want her to stop dismissing your fears.

*I'm not going to Thanksgiving, either. Neither are a ton of other people this year.
Reply Fri 20 Nov, 2020 09:20 am
She has to remember that if she wants to play Russian Roulette, FINE, , Just dont include others in your game.
She cannot guarantee that she isnt a spreader and would infect others. IT AINT WORTH GETTING INFECTED JUST FOR A TURKEY DINNER> Kinda narcissistic besides "Drama Queen-ish".

I read that tory in the NYT where this guy, just before he died in a covid stupor, still denied that covid was REAL.

Those are people I DO NOT want around me or my family.

RUSSIAN ROULETTE thats what it is.
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Reply Fri 20 Nov, 2020 09:22 am
My Amish neighbors dont usually wear masks yet they all wear seat-belts in a car. Whats the difference???
Reply Fri 20 Nov, 2020 10:06 am
Are they more likely to pay a fine if they don't wear seatbelts?
Reply Fri 20 Nov, 2020 10:51 am
if a cop stops you, not wearing abelt is aclass 1 violation in pa now.
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Reply Fri 20 Nov, 2020 11:00 am
These are the facts.

1. Your sister has a genuine fear of Covid-19. There are lots of people who have this fear (not just your sister). Whether you agree the disease is a risk is not the issue. The issue is that you are not showing compassion for your sister.

2. There seems to be a pattern here. You are pushing away your family. You are pushing away your friends. You don't control other people, but you are responsible for your own behavior. Right now you should consider what impact your behavior is having on your relationships with the people around you.

3. The Bible is about compassion caring about other people. I have have found that when I read the Bible it is much more impactful for me to think about what I need to change rather than worrying about what other people are doing. If you are using the Bible to prove how everyone is wronging you, then you are using the Bible wrong.

4. I have studied the Bible quite a bit, and I could give you some relevant scriptures if you would like... I would start with 1Cor 8 where Paul said if other people thought eating meat (or being without a mask) is wrong, you should respect them for the sake of their own conscience.

We could argue science or politics here but that is not the issue. The issue is that your behavior is pushing away your family and relationships you care about. If you want to change this... you are going to have to take responsibility for your own behavior.
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Reply Fri 20 Nov, 2020 07:45 pm

You saw me crying in the honda
The tears I shed were tears of sook
I know the meaning of resentment
Now I am reading a good book

Happy sulking in the honda
And people are of one accord
The gathering looks fonder
As they watch me stuck here bored

You will surely find the way home
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Reply Fri 20 Nov, 2020 08:24 pm
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Reply Fri 20 Nov, 2020 09:51 pm
I am sorry you are getting the responses here. I think you deserve a little more understanding. Having a phobia like this you should have more understanding and sympathy . . Just imagine being in a situation where if you cover your nose and mouth it causes you to be so fearful you cannot breathe you have a panic attack and freak out?

Personally I have a mild situation similar to that .. where I have felt I couldn't breathe and freaked out . Now if someone had an extreme case I can see how covering your nose and mouth would be impossible.

So rather than judge this person is irresponsible maybe we should give a little understanding . For the short term could you order in thanksgiving dinner and FaceTime your family ? Could you explain how to our phobia is to the point you cannot wear a mask and function without panicking ?

Long term could you reach out to a therapist ? Most are doing Tele therapy so no need to leave your home.

Again sorry you areally going through this .. it is tough on everyone especially more so for those that struggle with any mental illness.
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Reply Mon 14 Dec, 2020 06:06 am
Welp, it's been a couple weeks, and here's an update.

My sister did not toss me out in the cold. We spent the night, masks or no masks, and everyone lived.

We drove to one hotel on the way. They had a big unfriendly (you're supposed to be the hospitality business for chrissake) sign telling us that people who didn't wear a mask would be asked to leave. But we were checked in, paid money, and such, so in the three hotels (one there, two back) we eventually stayed at none of them walked up to me and told me to leave. I was there because I had to sleep, I didn't want to make trouble, but I had to stand up for what I felt was right or lose the right to stay there. All the same, I was prepared with blankets and such if thet did tell me that despite us paying money, I wasn't welcome (that's theft btw). We gutted it out, and made it to Texas. At Texas, for the most part we stayed in so it wasn't a problem. Then they wanted to go to a restaurant. I stayed in the car. My dad eventually joined me after he had one too many nags from his wife about wearing them on the way to the restaurant. But I did eventually have to pee (we both did), and lacking any outdoor facilities, it was a choice between maybe being arrested for entering with no mask, and definitely being arrested for urinating/defecating like an animal. A few days later, they took us to an outdoor restaurant (why?) but told me to wear a mask in order to enter, even though I was outdoors and would take one off to eat. I refused and he got all mad but I just shrugged it off and walked about two feet to sit down at a table where everyone took their mask off anyway.

This is what this has been like. Had I followed rules completely, I would be denied the right to a bathroom, a hotel, and to eat with my family. But neither have I been pushing any envelopes. It's just that I expect nothing, not good hygiene, not any kind of medicine, not masks, not vaccines to be enough to get rid of this thing. Because this is really about fear. I'm afraid, you're afraid. But I understand that nothing I do will be enough, and that I can expect only to be forced into a corner. Cases rise near holidays and elections, and would do so, even idf I obeyed all rules (other people wouldn't). We might get sick, we might even die. But right now, I can't think death would be worse. And they're cancelling church services in my state. Foe Christmas Eve.
Reply Mon 14 Dec, 2020 07:32 am
The problem, Bulmabriefs, is that you aren't taking responsibility for your own actions.

The world is what it is. We all have to live in it. Every one of us is dealing with the pandemic right now and most of us a are doing OK with it.

You are responsible for your own behavior. You are pushing people away. This includes relationships that are important to you.
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Frank Apisa
Reply Mon 14 Dec, 2020 08:08 am
bulmabriefs144 wrote:
What about you?

What about me?

I'm fine. I wear a mask when I am around others. I hate the mask...it is uncomfortable for me...and I feel as though I am not getting enough oxygen.

But I wear it, because getting this pandemic under control is more important than just me.

Will you also tell me how evil I am for not wearing a mask?

I doubt most of us think you are evil for not wearing a mask. I think you are selfish for that...and I suspect most other feel that way.

Or will you welcome me, and try to understand how I've been hurting these last several months being completely cut off from others?

Anyone who "welcomes" you when you are not wearing a mask is a fool.

Wear a mask when around others...or stay away from being around others.

Or...do the drama queen thing. Anyone who buys into that bit is also a fool.
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Reply Mon 14 Dec, 2020 08:59 am
not wearing a mask is actually the panemics way to introduce you to the concept of playing "Russian Roulette". Dosage an llength of exposure are two ways to spread the antigen. MAsks will control both/ Being a bit selfish by not caring for the health of others doesnt mean that everyone will com down with Covid.
Many will not, you are just GAMBLING that you will be one of those who will not. I never liked gambling because in most cases it has nothing to do with skills.Its just luck of the spinning cylinder.
Good luck and at least others will know enough to distance themselves from you.
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