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I love him and am hurting him.

 
 
heyidc
 
Reply Sun 5 Mar, 2017 08:51 am
So I'm in a long dist relationship with a guy and we've talked about the future and bc of the kind of family I have, things wont materialize for us i.e no marriage or anything. But we decided that we'd stay in this relationship for as long as possible (bc we love each other and make each other happy) and then part ways when it's time.
Every now and then, I end up feeling (quite rightly I believe) that all of this, no matter how beautiful it is right now, is going to lead to suffering and pain for both of us, and that I'm just making things horrible for him and building up hopes and dreams which'll (at that time) amount to nothing but give him a psychological shock or something and badly hurt him. Also, every time we discuss this, he's adamant he wants to stay for as long as possible bc he loves me.
What should be done?
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jespah
 
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Reply Sun 5 Mar, 2017 11:06 am
@heyidc,
Cut him loose now. If you care about him, you will give him the opportunity to find someone else, rather than waste his time.

Which is also wasting your own time.

End it and you will both have the opportunity to find someone else while you're still young (because the older we get, the harder it is to find someone, regardless of gender, religion, etc.).

Or defy your family now.

Your choice. Fish or cut bait. You're right that the limbo is a bad way for things to be. So yank the relationship out of limbo, in one direction or another.

It will not be fun either way, particularly if you are close to your family. Basically, you are in a position where you must choose him or them. Those choices pretty much always stink but there you have it.

Have you talked to your family about him? Maybe they're more receptive than you think.
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