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Mon 11 Jul, 2005 12:36 pm
http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&category=1467&item=5595608993&rd=1
this is the funniest 'sale' i have ever seen.
If someone falls for this I will be truly surprised.
Gotta love people who think they are funny, but are not even close.
"Read my HILARIOUS life stories! Like how I said to the ebay guy, 'all the good ones are taken!'" Boy oh boy is she a f'n riot!
She obviously doesn't write comedy for a living. Just another over-medicated cat woman who will end up on the street whoring herself out for cigarettes.
Can you summarize? E Bay pulled the listing.
You have to copy and paste the link, noddy.
eew that was positively toe-curling.
some people should be protected against themselves.
its been removed... i cant look at it now :*(
Do the copy and paste thing.
Summary -
a young woman who is being forced out of her apt for non payment of the rent is selling her 'life story ' for 12,000$
Claims that the reason for her 'non bill payments' are due to past relationships, cat sickness.. ( blahblahblah)
boring , bland, dry writting is what you are supposed to gage her 'humor' on and bid for her life story rights. She claims to be a writter, ( humor none the less ) , wich is the irony of the Ebay sale..
nothing fabulous.. just HORRIBLY silly, eyerolling, attention getting strange story.
Re: Buy a life........ on Ebay
This is the ad on EBAY
NOW YOU (YES YOU!)
CAN BECOME A BEST-SELLING COMEDY WRITER!
Just Buy The Rights to My Life and My Writing
and YOU'RE WELL ON YOUR WAY!
Why am I doing this?
I OWE MY LANDLORD AND HE'S GOING TO KICK ME OUT!
Medical hassles are keeping me from my writer/producer "day job," I have no more health insurance (thank you, Disney) and a questionable literary "agent" up and disappeared as did our so-called deal. Ergo, I'm stranded, but at least I've got that optimistic slant on world and personal events that will never go into hiding!
For the past 6 months I've been keeping track of the crazy happenings in my life (especially several hilarious "love" affairs!) along with triumphant struggles and lots of recovery over various addictions, my up-and-down emotions as an obsessive-compulsive Dodger & Boston Red Sox fan, and did I mention (?) those romantic (mis-) adventures that always make good reading...and living too, for that matter!
Your winning bid brings you two different blogs for two different audiences. (One rated "PG" the other one "R".)
I don't care what you do with all these wacky action-packed pages once I sign away all rights to you, the only restriction is you can't publish under my real name...my mother is still alive and the racy stuff would give her a stroke. USE YOURS! (Not your mother, your name.)
BUT WAIT! THERE'S MORE!
The winner also receives the rights to my e-bay handle "Cricket Canyon" since I always thought that would make an excellent nom-de-plume, (well, except everybody thinks she's a porn actress.)
Serious buyers with legal and/or literary representation (or aspirations) only! Your questions encouraged! This will be a binding contract. Your "people" can call my "people" and handle it to your exacting satisfaction.
Contact me prior to bid and I'll be happy to send you a link to the blog(s,) my career resume (I've been a professional writer for 25 years,) and a picture of my cats and dogs, since they figure prominently in the last 6 months of my "life" story. I'd send you pictures of the humans I write about, but I don't have rights to those, and their names have been changed to confuse my ex-boyfriends.
YOU'D THINK ONE OF THESE {expletive deleted} EX'S WOULD PAY MY RENT FOR THREE CRUMMY MONTHS (THE STARTING PRICE OF BIDS) BUT OBVIOUSLY THEY DIDN'T APPRECIATE MY LITERARY ASSESSMENT(S) OF THEIR SHORTCOMINGS.
And last time I checked...blackmail was still illegal.
I wish this was the weirdest & most self-effacing thing I've ever done...but I guess that's what makes the reading entertaining.
If you'd like my landlord's phone number, just to confirm the situation, I'd be happy to forward it...no charge!
The photo accompanying this listing is "Balou", one of my six four-legged roommates. If you'd like him, bidding starts at $1,000,000.
Total of all work to date is approximately 500 pages.
Here's the most recent sample, co-incidentally from the BEST RELATIONSHIP I'VE HAD WITH A MAN IN SIX MONTHS: (typographical errors included, I'm too busy hiding from the landlord to do a spell-check.)
Jake: Hello, thank you for contacting eBay Live Help. My name is Jake. How may I assist you today?
cricket_canyon: Hiya
Jake: Hi there.
cricket_canyon: I want to revise a listing, this time to include the space for charitable giving, how do I do that...thanks
Jake: I would be happy to help you with that. Do you have the item number of the listing you want to revise, by chance?
cricket_canyon: 5595608993 PUBLISHING RIGHTS TO SIX MONTHS OF MY LIFE
Jake: Thank you. One moment please. I will look into that for you.
cricket_canyon: AND DON'T LAUGH IF YOU READ THE AUCTION
cricket_canyon: WELL, OKAY YOU CAN LAUGH...just don't feel sorry for me!
Jake: I promise, I won't.
cricket_canyon: sure, all you men make promises you can't keep
Jake: Ok, what you can do is view this listing, while signed in, and click the "Revise your item" link near the top of your listing.
Jake: No, I really promise. Honest. Once you click on Revise your item, you can click on "Edit pictures and details" from the page after that.
cricket_canyon: done that, just can't find the area to change for the giving
Jake: That is where the option would be, but let me double check to see if it is available by revising.
cricket_canyon: {expletive deleted} I mean, oh piffle, it isn't there where you suggested, sorry
Jake: It appears it may not be when revising. I'm checking one other thing for you now.
cricket_canyon: thank you...this auction is so self-serving, I need to put a charitable contribution in just so I don't feel like a total narcissitic loser.
Jake: It appears it's only available when first listing the item.
cricket_canyon: Oh {expletive deleted} pardon me, horse feathers!
Jake: If you wanted to, you can end this one and relist it if you really wanted to.
cricket_canyon: but won't I incur additional costs, which I certainly can't afford right now. oh well, I'll just leave it as is, I've got another auction where 55 percent is to be donated to an animal charity, so I shouldn't be feeling THAT guilty lol. But you know us "boy-crazy-though-not-(yet)-bitter-about-the-past-men-in-my-life" Catholic girls.
Jake: There would be additional listing fees if you chose to do that, yes.
(NOTE TO READER: SEE? EVEN THE MOST CASUAL RELATIONSHIPS WITH MEN EVENTUALLY COST ME MONEY.)
Jake: If you do happen to relist this item, you can certainly add it then.
cricket_canyon: okay, well thanks for your help, and sorry to intimate that you would be anything like the men I've dated recently
cricket_canyon: since you have a real JOB, that would make you NOTHING LIKE THEM in the least
(ADDITIONAL NOTE IF YOU'RE STILL READING: OKAY, ONE HAD A JOB, BUT APPARENTLY HE HAD A WIFE, TOO)
AND HEY, IF YOU'RE STILL READING,
YOU SHOULD SERIOUSLY {expletive deleted} THINK ABOUT BIDDING...
But I digress, back to the conversation:
Jake: It was my pleasure. Have I answered all of your questions today?
cricket_canyon: One more....are YOU single?
Jake: Unfortunately, no.
cricket_canyon: see, all the good ones ARE taken.
Jake: Thank you for making my day here at eBay Live Help! Best of luck to you, I'm sure you'll get a high bidder, and an even better man!
cricket_canyon: From your lips, to God's ears, Jake!
Jake: Good bye! (The agent ended your chat session.)
You know that thing I listed on ebay for $100,000.00? Well, I found out they were charging me a 1% posting fee. I was really scared, but I managed to work it out.
And oh, yeah, it was done better on Seinfeld.
Her healthy ego is interfering with her perception of reality.
I saw a girls website once where she admitted to being in dept, and was asking for really small sums, like 1 or 2 bucks,
she documented all her spending, showed receipts for the money she received from people and where she sent it i.e. credit cards, for paying off.
at least I think that's kinda how it went.
surprisingly - I think she had almost every paid off.
has anyone else heard of this one.
as hard nosed as I am, I really think it was legit.
Hey - nothing fails like not trying.
Chai Tea--
I read about her website and when her book came out, I borrowed it from the library.
She was a nice enough child, but a damn fool about money. If she didn't have the cash in her pocket, she whipped out her plastic and put the impulse on a credit card.
She collected enough money to pay her debts and donated the rest to charity--established charities. Several people suggested that since they were also in debt, she should pay off their credit cards, too.
I cant believe people use EBAY to beg for money!
AND GET IT!
what happened to just standing on the corner and holding a sign?
That's not a life for sale, it's a cry for help.
Thank goodness she hasn't found A2K.....yet.
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