woiyo
 
Reply Mon 11 Jul, 2005 12:01 pm
http://www.gjsentinel.com/classifieds/content/gen/ap/CO_COC_Clinton_Aspen.html

""I sometimes feel that Alfred E. Neuman is in charge in Washington," Clinton said "

Well, now, she has opened the door for all to use HUMOR.

Well, if I was Hillary, I do not think that with her GIRTH, she should be jokeing about anyone.

I mean, let's face it... Hillary's butt is SO HUGE...

She can't even jump to a conclusion
Bill had to take a bus, a train and a cab just to get on her good side
If you slapped her butt, you could ride the waves
When they used her underwear for bungee jumping, they hit the ground
When she goes to a restuarant, she get's an estimate
Her belt size is the equator
She uses a Satallite Dish as a diaphragm
When she took her "Blue" dress to the cleaners, they said "We don't do curtains".
She was Baptized at Sea World
She influences the Tides
Her legs are like spoiled milk-white and chunky.
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Type: Discussion • Score: 4 • Views: 3,422 • Replies: 24
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Baldimo
 
  1  
Reply Mon 11 Jul, 2005 03:17 pm
I've been saying for years that Bush looks like Al Neuman.
0 Replies
 
JustWonders
 
  1  
Reply Mon 11 Jul, 2005 06:18 pm
When she went to Iraq, the guys over there referred to her plane as "Broomstick One".

LOL!

Smile
0 Replies
 
joefromchicago
 
  1  
Reply Mon 11 Jul, 2005 07:45 pm
http://www.texaschapbookpress.com/magellanslog4/bushneuman.jpg
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blatham
 
  1  
Reply Mon 11 Jul, 2005 10:22 pm
http://images.ucomics.com/comics/db/2005/db050710.gif
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McGentrix
 
  1  
Reply Tue 12 Jul, 2005 06:31 am
Isn't this thread about Hillary?
0 Replies
 
au1929
 
  1  
Reply Tue 12 Jul, 2005 06:41 am
From the response her remarks have elicited from the Bush faithful she must have touched a nerve. No one likes to hear the truth about their idol. :wink:
0 Replies
 
McGentrix
 
  1  
Reply Tue 12 Jul, 2005 06:47 am
au1929 wrote:
From the response her remarks have elicited from the Bush faithful she must have touched a nerve. No one likes to hear the truth about their idol. :wink:


I didn't realize Blatham and Joefromchicago were counted amongst the Bush faithful.
0 Replies
 
woiyo
 
  1  
Reply Tue 12 Jul, 2005 06:50 am
au1929 wrote:
From the response her remarks have elicited from the Bush faithful she must have touched a nerve. No one likes to hear the truth about their idol. :wink:


Yes, it did. I find if funny as a matter of fact. So funny, I thought we could amuse ourselves with the gigantic girth of the Jr. Senator from NY.

I mean, let's face it....

The last time Hillary saw 90210 was on a scale.
The National Weather Service assigns names to her farts.
0 Replies
 
joefromchicago
 
  1  
Reply Tue 12 Jul, 2005 08:41 am
McGentrix wrote:
I didn't realize Blatham and Joefromchicago were counted amongst the Bush faithful.

There are a lot of things you don't know about me. It's the mystery that keeps our relationship fresh.

Anyway, the "Hillary's so fat" jokes are just variations on the classic "yo mama's so fat" jokes that have been around for years. It's relatively easy (and takes no comedic talent) to do this, which is perhaps why humor-challenged conservatives have used this form of ridicule to attack Clinton. Indeed, it is just as simple to convert some time-worn "yo mama so stupid" jokes to "W's so stupid" jokes. Such as:

W's so stupid, he got tangled up in a cordless phone.

W's so stupid he thought Taco Bell was a Mexican phone company.

W's so stupid it took him 2 hours to watch 60 minutes.

W's so stupid when he went to the movies and saw the NC-17 sign, he went home and got 16 friends.

W's so stupid he told everyone that he was "illegitiment" because he couldn't read.

W's so stupid he hears it's chilly outside so he gets a bowl.

W's so stupid you have to dig for his IQ!

W's so stupid that he tried to put M&M's in alphabetical order!

W's so stupid he could trip over a cordless phone!

W's so stupid he sold him car for gasoline money!

W's so stupid he bought a solar-powered flashlight!

W's so stupid he thinks a quarterback is a refund!

W's so stupid he took a cup to see Juice.

W's so stupid he asked you "What is the number for 911".

W's so stupid he took a ruler to bed to see how long he slept.

W's so stupid when he read on him job application to not write below the dotted line he put "O.K."

W's so stupid he got stabbed in a shoot out.

W's so stupid he stole free bread.

W's so stupid he took a spoon to the superbowl.

W's so stupid he called Dan Quayle for a spell check.

W's so stupid he stepped on a crack and broke him own back.

W's so stupid he makes Beavis and Butt-Head look like Nobel Prize winners.

W's so stupid he thought he needed a token to get on Soul Train.

W's so stupid he took the Pepsi challenge and chose Jif.

W's so stupid when you stand next to him you hear the ocean!

W's so stupid he thinks Fleetwood Mac is a new hamburger at McDonalds!

W's so stupid he sits on the TV, and watches the couch!

W's so stupid that he thought Boyz II Men was a day care center.

W's so stupid he bought a videocamera to record cable tv shows at home.

W's so stupid when he went to take the 44 bus, he took the 22 twice instead.

W's so stupid he jumped out the window and went up.

W's so stupid he took a umbrella to see Purple Rain.

W's so stupid that under "Education" on him job application, he put "Hooked on Phonics.

W's so stupid he put out the cigarette butt that was heating your house.

W's so stupid he watches "The Three Stooges" and takes notes.

W's so stupid he thought gangrene was anothim golf course.

W's so stupid it take him a day to cook a 3 minute egg.

W's so stupid he has to ask for help to use hamburger helper.

W's so stupid he went to Disneyworld and saw a sign that said "Disneyworld Left" so he went home.

W's so stupid he asked me what kind of jeans I had on and I said "Guess" so he said Levi's .

W's so stupid, on a job application that asked "state your race," he wrote "daytona 500."
0 Replies
 
blatham
 
  1  
Reply Tue 12 Jul, 2005 09:48 am
Many of my days are improved by your presence, joe.
0 Replies
 
McGentrix
 
  1  
Reply Tue 12 Jul, 2005 09:52 am
It's so cute the way you guys gyrate the conversation away from Hillary.
0 Replies
 
DrewDad
 
  1  
Reply Tue 12 Jul, 2005 09:55 am
McGentrix wrote:
It's so cute the way you guys gyrate the conversation away from Hillary.

There was a conversation?
0 Replies
 
McGentrix
 
  1  
Reply Tue 12 Jul, 2005 10:09 am
There was a thread. But it got deflected from making jabs at Hillary to making jabs at Bush because of obvious security/emotional issues.
0 Replies
 
DrewDad
 
  1  
Reply Tue 12 Jul, 2005 10:18 am
So... you can dish it out but not take it? Somehow, I'm not surprised.
0 Replies
 
Ticomaya
 
  1  
Reply Tue 12 Jul, 2005 10:22 am
Hildabeast jokes:

    Hillary is so fat when her beeper goes off, people think she's backing up. Hillary is so fat she went to the movies and sat next to everyone. Hillary is so fat she has been declared a natural habitat for Condors. Hillary is so fat you have to roll over twice to get off her... Hillary is so fat she was floating in the ocean and declared new land. Hillary is so fat when you get on top of her your ears pop! Hillary is so fat when she has sex; she has to give directions! Hillary is so fat she goes to a restaurant looks at the menu and says "okay!" Hillary is so fat she had to go to Sea World to get baptized. Hillary is so fat when she sits around the house, she SITS AROUND THE HOUSE! Hillary is so fat when she steps on a scale, it reads, "One at a time, please." Hillary is so fat I had to take a train and two buses just to get on her good side! Hillary is so fat she wakes up in sections! Hillary is so fat when she jumps up in the air she gets stuck!!! Hillary is so fat she's got more Chins than a Chinese phone book! Hillary is so fat she's on both sides of the family! Hillary is so fat every time she walks in high heels, she strikes oil! Hillary is so fat she got hit by a parked car! Hillary is so fat, when she dances she makes the band skip. Hillary is so fat, when she diagnosed with the flesh eating disease the doctor gave her 27 years to live. Hillary is so fat, her ass has its own congressman. Hillary is so fat, her cereal bowl came with a lifeguard. Hillary is so fat, her high school graduation picture was an aerial photograph Hillary is so fat, her driver's license says "Picture continued on the other side." Hillary is so fat, the back of her neck looks like a pack of hot dogs. Hillary is so fat, "Place Your Ad Here" is printed on each of her butt cheeks. Hillary is so fat, when she ran away, they had to use all four sides of the milk carton. Hillary is so fat, when she gets in an elevator, it HAS to go down. Hillary is so fat, she was born with a silver shovel in her mouth. Hillary is so fat, she got smaller fat women orbiting around her. Hillary is so fat, she could sell shade. Hillary is so fat, when she crosses the street, cars look out for her. Hillary is so fat, I ran around her twice and got lost. Hillary is so fat, her blood type is Ragu. Hillary is so fat, if she got her shoes shined, she'd have to take his word for it! Hillary is so fat, when she turns around, people throw her a welcome back party. Hillary is so fat, the telephone company gave her two area codes. Hillary is so fat the animals at the zoo feed her. Hillary is so fat, when she hauls ass she has to make two trips.
0 Replies
 
joefromchicago
 
  1  
Reply Tue 12 Jul, 2005 10:27 am
McGentrix wrote:
There was a thread. But it got deflected from making jabs at Hillary to making jabs at Bush because of obvious security/emotional issues.

I'm puzzled by this comment. Since you didn't initiate the thread, McG, I can't understand how you became the gatekeeper here. If anyone has reason to complain about the thread being derailed, it's woiyo, not you. But then woiyo has no reason to complain either, since he wrote:
woiyo wrote:
Well, now, she has opened the door for all to use HUMOR.

Obviously, that was an open invitation for all of us to use humor, not just conservatives who promised to target their jibes and jests at Hillary Clinton. Woiyo didn't invite us to comment on Clinton's speech, nor did he take the opportunity to do so himself. So trying to turn this thread into a debate about the content of Clinton's speech is clearly off-topic. In that respect, the only person here who is trying to derail the thread is you.
0 Replies
 
joefromchicago
 
  1  
Reply Tue 12 Jul, 2005 10:29 am
blatham wrote:
Many of my days are improved by your presence, joe.

And you, sir, are the wind beneath my wings.
0 Replies
 
DrewDad
 
  1  
Reply Tue 12 Jul, 2005 10:29 am
That could be funny. Except that it's just eye-rollingly ridiculous. And JoeFromC already made the point.

At least Hillary's comment re: GWB had some basis in humor rather than sheer mean-spiritedness.
0 Replies
 
Ticomaya
 
  1  
Reply Tue 12 Jul, 2005 10:31 am
DrewDad wrote:
That could be funny. Except that it's just eye-rollingly ridiculous. And JoeFromC already made the point.

At least Hillary's comment re: GWB had some basis in humor rather than sheer mean-spiritedness.


Hillary is so fat she sat on Wal-Mart and lowered the prices.
0 Replies
 
 

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