I made out with a woman, and the only thing I observed or noticed to lile so much is to touch her to give her pleasure in any kind of way, to dominate her while she's lying down on her back but never be dominated by her or receiving anything like touch or oral stimulation below the belt from a woman, I hate it i don't even get to be horny at that idea letting alone the thjng itself ( that made me vomit or shake of disgusting ). And I found that i might be placiosexual ( love to give pleasure to a woman but always hating to get back anything from her in sexual manner. And when i did make out with a woman she had been scaried and didn't get it why I love so much to make her happy but hate to receive any pleasure back from her, I just can't accept the idea, she thought she was the problem .... but that hadn't been her fault, that was mine.
Up until now i sort of feel fear to be with someone else, I mean I'll ve exactly the same person as I was with that girl, and what about I'll hate as well to be receiving sexual pleasure from her as I did with the first girl and I'll always probably do, What is she just gonna say, would she believe that's her fault or what about she just say " You're gay, you're weird " but why do I like so much to please a woman that way?????
And I know that the only person I will let so easily to go down there is a guy so much i like it and more than that the only thing i might be opened to with a guy is just receiving pleasure from him ( just to see how it is, that might be once in my whole life, a simple curiosity ) but never to give smth in reverse to that guy.
Am i so wierd? Do I really need a psychiatric control?