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I have never been more confused by a women’s actions before! Need Guidance

 
 
RKM05
 
Reply Sat 19 Sep, 2020 07:21 pm
I met a local 38 year old women on Instagram. We have been liking one another’s pictures and DMing for 1.5 years. The conversation has always been very deep, she has flirted with taking me out, and I have asked her out for drinks a few times. She always agrees but then disappears and avoids when it’s time to execute. I completely backed off, she started liking all my pics then gave me her phone number as she was taking a break from IG due to Covid and BLM stress. I started texting, the conversation was great, flirtatious, sent me pics, however made excuses to meet or come on the phone. She mentioned she is super shy, guarded and doesn’t not let people in easy. One night we were texting to 4:00am and she expressed her feelings, sent me provocative pictures and had online phone sex. The next say, She finally indicated we have to meet. I was concerned as I thought she was a tease as she has yet to meet or come on the phone. As a joke, I mentioned I hope you enjoyed last night and you don’t chat like that with other IG guys. She went completely off, called me insecure, I was gas lighting her and manipulating. I told her it was a misunderstanding, apologized and took accountability. Gave her week, during this time she liked my pics, then unfollowed my accounts. When I texted her, she was still furious and said she’s moving on and I said disappointing but cool.

It felt like the universe was putting us together as we were a mirror image of one another and had the best times when we exchanged messages. I started reviewing my texts and felt that she doesn’t let anyone in, suffers from major anxiety and has been out of work due to Covid lockdown.

I decided to send her flowers to her office and a message inducting we are soul mates and shared my feelings. This was 2 months post the fight, she immediately responded, thanked me and we started texting again. However, I don’t feel the same, it’s not as engaging and it feels like I have to do all the chasing.

Thoughts on next steps, did she run as she’s insecure and cannot believe she found her soulmate, can someone have boundaries and cancel everything over one inaccurate comment?
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maxdancona
 
  1  
Reply Sat 19 Sep, 2020 07:48 pm
@RKM05,
I don't think the on again, off again thing is good. That being said.

If this relationship is going to go anywhere you need to meet in person. Otherwise you are just playing. I would tell her I want to meet in person. If she wasn't up for that, then that would be my answer. Then I would lose interest.


RKM05
 
  1  
Reply Sun 20 Sep, 2020 01:25 pm
@maxdancona,
Agreed. I’m afraid she is not being honest and her mental health is preventing her to get the courage to meet! Should I show up at her work?
maxdancona
 
  1  
Reply Sun 20 Sep, 2020 01:28 pm
@RKM05,
RKM05 wrote:

Agreed. I’m afraid she is not being honest and her mental health is preventing her to get the courage to meet! Should I show up at her work?


I would say absolutely not. Showing up at her work would be unhealthy on many levels.

She has to agree to meet. Make it clear to her what you need, and let her decide. You should be ready to walk away if she can't agree. That means that she simply isn't able to have a relationship. If you force it... you will both get hurt and the relationship will still never work.

You can't have a relationship with someone who is not emotionally ready to have a relationship.
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chai2
 
  2  
Reply Sun 20 Sep, 2020 03:21 pm
@RKM05,
RKM05 wrote:

Should I show up at her work?


Jesus Christ NO!

First off, she's at work. She's supposed to be working.

Second, there's a good chance no one at her job knows about you, or other aspects of her personal life. If you show up at her job, every single person there is going to know. Most won't care one way or the other, but the gossips will.

RKM05
 
  1  
Reply Sun 20 Sep, 2020 04:10 pm
@chai2,
That’s true and I’m not that type of guy to show up at her work either. I’m more of an ego centric individual, never chase and tired of these games. Something doesn’t add up. But it would be to meet with an individual who claims she has strong mental and physical attraction too, has never opened up like this before and believes she has known me forever. Not too sure if she embarrassed as she put herself out there with the lingerie pics, is very insecure or is waiting for me to ask her out!
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