Wed 2 Sep, 2020 09:15 am
I'll try to keep this short as possible, but at the same time I want to discuss this story in a better detail.
I met this woman (much older than me) - 40 years old in Ukraine in Kyiv. I am 27 years old. We met in Kyiv over Badoo dating app, and since we met the first time in Kyiv, we had a really good connection from the start. The sex was great, our communication as well.
We continued talking to eachother for couple of months over the phone (since I left Kyiv the next day).
It was great, we were talking for a couple of hours every night, we even slept with our phones on. Always when I called in the evening, she answered me and talked to me.
We even met again in Budapest (she came by plane, I came by bus) for an extended weekend in between.
After a couple of months, I got some feelings for my project manager, and I explained that to my Ukrainian woman over the phone, that I have some feelings that I shouldn't have for my project manager and that I will resolve and fix this - and that I like her (Ukrainian woman) more.
I was also very busy at that time, and I didn't had the time to talk with her every night anymore.
And I did - I resolved my thing with my project manager, got much more time later on, and I wanted to talk with my Ukrainian woman again.
We talked for some time (not very much), and after that she just said - she needs to focus on herself and her kid.
I left her alone, left her to focus on herself and her kid and I focused on myself. She started saying that we are just friends and so on. She didn't want to talk to me anymore - it was all of a sudden, I only wanted to understand her and resolve this, but she didn't gave me this chance.
After half a year - she contacted me again, started sending me pictures of herself every morning, even called me couple of times, and we had long conversation. Out of the blue, she said - she was thinking about coming to my country.
I was very excited, but because of coronavirus that isn't possible and I said, I could visit Ukraine again.
She had her birthday, I bought her 75 flowers for her 40th birthday - she texted me and was happy about it. But I expected at least she would call me the same evening - she didn't. I called her, she cancelled my call. Said she is with her friends.
The next day we talked about this - she said she is also ******* with one guy, but he is only her friend - and not even a lover.
I was a bit pissed of and angry ofcourse, but later on I was calmed about this, since she said - she just has him for sex. Which I understand, since we have long distance relationship and we haven't talked for so long.
But after that, always when I tried to call her on the phone, she wouldn't pick up, sometimes even write back and so on. This made me a bit angry sometimes, made me sad - and I wanted to discuss some things, while she avoided answers - and kept saying we are just friends.
But even if we are just friends, I wouldn't expect such behavior from her. She keeps saying she is busy and so on - but nobody is so busy, and at least she can write me a text message after I call her multiple times.
Now after 2 weeks of basically arguing and me being sad and angry - and she acting like she just doesn't care a tiny bit about me - things went very far, so far that she even blocked me. So we don't have any conversaion at all for 2 days now.
She started ignoring me and later blocked me.
I wonder, why would she block me? All I wanted was a normal conversation over the phone to sort/clear things out.
I asked her if I ever hurt her (because of project manager), and is this some sort of her revange?
What are some of your perspectives on this?
I am still willing to come to Ukraine, but I really don't understand why she is always running from problems.
You had a short fling and now it is over. She seems to have made it clear that she is moving on, so you should too. Just accept it for what it was and leave her alone. (Personally, at this point I would go ahead and block her also so that she leaves you alone and doesn't pop back up in a few months time wanting to reconnect.)
Surprisingly I find myself in some agreement with @ CoastalRat .... Move on, block her.
Thanks for your answer.
She kind of wanted to start over as she said (cca. 2 weeks ago, when she started communicating more with me again) - that's why she contacted me. I am really surprised even by THE FACT, that she wanted to come to my country. That was like wow, I think this really made me excited, and I kind of am excited just about this, not the person itself.
But I kind of messed up the conversation with bringing some deep topics, she doesn't want to talk about - or she says, we already went through this.
I think if I'd treat her more as a friend and not being angry about some things - then the whole thing may turn in a better direction.
In a way I don't want to lose all contacts with her, but I will definetley be more cooled down with communicating and thinking about her.
Sounds like she wants to keep it casual, and you are getting serious.
Not a good thing.
Your age gap is enjoyable now, but will get to be an issue in the future, so ... how about YOU just keeping it casual?
And date. No long distance thing, someone your age, someone who wants to get as serious as you do.