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Unrequited love/crush - Advice

 
 
Verdya
 
Reply Sat 22 Aug, 2020 02:24 am
Would you send the following message to someone who rejected you and whom you constantly thinking of? We had sex and even sleeper together yet...😌

“Hey Daniel, what’s up? That’s a bit of a delayed response but, I wanted to tell you that you were somewhere in my thoughts since the first time we’ve met, a couple of years back, and also after the last time (a few weeks ago) because something in the dynamic/vibe with you felt felt so true. You’re truly a sweet guy and I like you a lot. I can’t change the way you feel nor would I want to. But, I’ve got a hunch that someday our paths will cross again. I hope you’re not embarrassed by this. I just wanted to take it out of me and share it with you.”
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Type: Question • Score: 2 • Views: 389 • Replies: 14
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jespah
 
  2  
Reply Sat 22 Aug, 2020 05:22 am
@Verdya,
Don't.

You will never unring that bell.

Toss it in a heap with other things you've grown out of, because you'll grow out of this, too.

Life is for requited love and returned affection (assuming you're not ace, which I highly doubt).

Go and enjoy your life and get some tools to shore up your self esteem -- and then you'll see prostrating yourself in front of someone who doesn't care is not a good move.
Teufel
 
  -2  
Reply Sat 22 Aug, 2020 06:01 am
@Verdya,
It is apparent you know you should not send this, or you would not pose this question here.

To share something unrequested is of course entirely about yourself. Indeed you know this because you say:

"I hope you’re not embarrassed by this...."

So what you are actually attempting is to exert control over the other person. Which is actually moving toward stalking; it is how it starts. My wife is a Dr of Psychology and of Criminology, ergo, that is not a lay opinion.

"But, I’ve got a hunch that someday our paths will cross again."

Now personally, in my world, that comment I would take as a direct threat to my well being ... a serious threat of intended damage or death.

As jespah quite rightly says; Put it down and walk away before you cause yourself some real issues.
Verdya
 
  1  
Reply Sat 22 Aug, 2020 06:05 am
@jespah,
Thank you 🙏🏼
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Verdya
 
  0  
Reply Sat 22 Aug, 2020 06:11 am
@Teufel,
I appreciate your comment but, please I’m not a stalker. I would never hurt or threat him because I like him. Besides, I wouldn’t do it to anyone. The hunch that you were referring to was more about a wishful thinking. You see, I was very hurt from this rejection...that’s it
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PUNKEY
 
  1  
Reply Sat 22 Aug, 2020 06:22 am
Verdi’s
He not a “sweet” guy if he used you like that.

Be more discerning about who you open your heart and body to.

The hurt is too much if you don’t.



Verdya
 
  1  
Reply Sat 22 Aug, 2020 07:47 am
@PUNKEY,
I didn’t feel like he used me. He showed affection toward me and then pulled out...we can’t chose who we fall for. Ain’t it?🙁
jespah
 
  2  
Reply Sat 22 Aug, 2020 01:05 pm
@Verdya,
Oh, that's close to the dictionary definition of being used.
Verdya
 
  1  
Reply Sat 22 Aug, 2020 10:38 pm
@jespah,
But we’ve met only twice now and In the past also twice. Why would it qualify as being used? I fell for him because I really like him and he didn’t feel the same. It’s “normal” but, for me it’s very painful🙁 because I want to hug him again so much and kiss him
jespah
 
  2  
Reply Sun 23 Aug, 2020 04:38 pm
@Verdya,
Sigh.

He doesn't return your affection or interest but has no problem screwing you?

That is being used.
Verdya
 
  1  
Reply Mon 24 Aug, 2020 03:37 am
@jespah,
He rejected me, he didn’t say he was up for sex only
jespah
 
  2  
Reply Mon 24 Aug, 2020 05:31 am
@Verdya,
In your initial post, you say you two had sex. Which statement is the truth?
Verdya
 
  1  
Reply Tue 25 Aug, 2020 03:32 am
@jespah,
We did. We didn’t talk before what we were both looking for..that’s it. So why using me? I don’t see why are you saying it
jespah
 
  2  
Reply Tue 25 Aug, 2020 05:06 am
@Verdya,
You honestly think he didn't realize you were crushing on him? And he screwed you anyway. Yes, you were a willing participant. But if he knew it meant more to you, but it was just a **** for him, then.... connect the dots.

But you'll believe what you want to believe.
Verdya
 
  1  
Reply Tue 25 Aug, 2020 06:58 am
@jespah,
I know I like him very much and that having sex with him and sleeping together made me crave for more..but he doesn’t know how I feel apart from me communicating to him that I want to meet again. If he were to continue meeting me again and again while knowing that he has no feelings for me - that would constitute him using me but that’s not what had happened.

True my feelings for him and the rejection has left me in a bad mood but I don’t need to view him in a negative light just because he rejected me...

Now what’s important is that I chose not to send this message thanks to you guys . I don’t know that I feel better but, I know I can’t control him and perhaps that was the best that could have happened in this given situation
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