how to move on

Hi Mengie,

I understand it must be a really difficult time you're going through and it's never easy after a break up. Have you tried doing something new and different that you've never done before? A new hobby, or getting a makeover?

Be strong and look towards the future. It's great that you know you have to move on now and are looking for ways to do so. *Hugs*

thanks,

i am ashamed to admit but the relationship is really deep that if i may say we slpet together for years, we planned to get married. i must admit i have my weakneses. i am nagger. but he hurt me everytime he is pissed of me.

yes, i am a battered girlfriend. he hit me on the face, on my head. not every day but seldom.

i blame myself for being such a person. he left me all alone that right now i dont even have the courage to go home. twice, i did, but, i end up crying and depressed. should i leave the house where we rented or should i stay. i am still hoping he comes back.

right now, i am doing everything to win him back, but he even dont want to talk to me.

i cant work, i cant sleep and i cant eat. i am really depressed and lonely. i still love him inspite and despite of what he have done to me. should i ask for a professional assistance? am i still normal?

The fact that he hit you should tell you he is a low life scum and you have no reason to stay. Walk out that door and never go back!!

I understand loving someone and not wanting to leave them but whats the point in staying if he hits you.
He isnt worth it.

I am not very good with my advise

By seeking professional help doesn't make you abnormal. I've been to counsellors, psychiatrists and what not myself and believe me there is nothing to be embarrassed about.

I know this is a silly question, but why on earth do you want to win someone like him back? Don't even attempt it! Does he even care? He does not deserve you... Get out of there while you still can. You can do much much better than him.

Dear Mengie,

I'm sorry to hear that he hit you. Please don't blame yourself. You did nothing wrong. Even if you had weaknesses, no one has the right to lay a hand on you and hit you.

Yes, I guess I can understand when you say that you still love him despite what he did to you. Perhaps you feel bad about yourself and subconsciously want to punish yourself for things you feel you did wrong? But please, don't let him into your life anymore. I know it's hard, but really you are better off without him. You deserve someone better who loves you and cares for you and will never hit you.

I know how it feels to come back to an empty and dark house every night. Maybe you should move out to be with some friends or family? Try not to stay alone as you will keep thinking about the past and being depressed, ok?

Yes, maybe you should seek some professional help about this. I'm having a problem in my life right now too, and I'm talking to a counsellor every two weeks. It would really help to have someone to listen if you can find some professional assistance.

Mean time, just hang in there. Remember, you must always love yourself no matter what. It doesn't matter what happened in the past between you and him. You need to have a new beginning.

Take care, girl. *hugs*

I'm so sorry mengie. But don't hope he comes back. You need to accept that it's over. If he were good to you it may be different... probably not, but it may have been. But he was abusive to you, and the longer you hold on the more pain you will be bringing yourself in the future. ESPECIALLY if you end up taking him back sometime.

I've found it isn't really possible to get over someone you really love. Only possible to stop thinking about them. And possible to learn to not need them anymore.

mengie--

Welcome to A2K.

Hitting another person is called abusing another person. Abuse is not acceptable behavior.

Your Ex hit you because he liked to hit you. He used excuses. You were a nag. You made him so mad. He tried to make you responsible for his behavior.



You don't want him back. You want your Dream Guy back--the guy who didn't hurt you, the guy who treated you well. The creep who walked out of you took all your self-confidence and all your strength and now he doesn't want you any more.

Get away from him. You deserve better.

I've had very little experience with serries relationships and wouldn't know what it's like to have someone you really love treat you like his rag doll. But my older sister has been in your situation. She left him and now she realizes that she did nothing to deserve such unacceptable treatment. No matter how much he begs for your forgiveness he's still always gonna be the low life jerk he is. Once it gets to the point where he lays hands on you, you know it's time to move on cuz once he hits you he's always gonna remain the same no matter what. You deserve better.

I blame mysely that lately i was never a good partner to him. i was preoocuppied with work and some family problems.

Its true, he hit me so may times. He threw things to me in front of her mother. The last time we fought, we had an argument when i asked him wny he made decisions without my consent. I kept on nagging when he approaches me and hit my head so many times. He grabbed my hair, kick me at my back. i cover my face beacuse i dont want to have a black-eye like the first fight that we had. I still went to office with bruises. I stayed at my freinds house for a day beacuse i could stand-up due to muscle pains. When i went home, he was no longer their. he brought his things. I called his mothers house, he doesnt want to talk to me. on my last call, i have talked to her mother. She blamed me for not respecting his son. I didnt answer back, i just listened. I couldnt defend myself.

I dont know if he was being convinced by his brother not to come back to me since his brother doesnt like me because we have differnt religion.

I also want to tell you that before our last fight, i caught him texting a collegaue of mine. he sms her saying that he loves her. but they never had any relationship.In between those text he asked the girl to wait until he ended his relationship with me.



Until now, i am still struggling either to pursue with my feelings for him or just let him go. I just dont want to blame myself at the end for the decisions i may have. I did a lot of wrong decisions in life and i dont want to regret it again.

Do you like having decisions made for you by a controlling man?

Do you like being beaten black and blue by a controlling man?

Do you like his family blaming you for difficulties in the relationship?

Not only is he a louse, he's a louse that wants to move on to mess up another woman's self esteem. You are well rid of him.

Move on.

If you're anything like me, a hundred people will tell you to just forget about him and you'll be better off, and you'll ignore them, and be horribly worse off for it before you give up and realize you should have listened to everyone in the first place, and they weren't as clueless as they seemed.

Hiya mengie.
im new on here too. i know EXACTLY what you are going through. I have a boyfriend who does exactly the same thing. He only does it when he doesnt get what he wants but like people have been telling me and now i am telling you, he has no right at all to hit you. i have been with my boyfriend for two years, not as long as you but i still find it hard to get over him. i loved him so much, my parents dont know that he has been hiting me because all i feel when i tell someone is guilt and shame, they find it amusing to make us feel this way and we should just ignore them and try to do other things to keep our minds off what we have been through and the men that we fell in love with