A need for perspective on his recent actions

Reply Wed 29 Jul, 2020 09:26 am
I was talking with a guy for 3 months and ended up having feelings for him. We talked for hours a day for 12 weeks and I fell for him hard. The vibes I was getting was that he liked me, enjoyed talking to me, and genuinely liked our interaction. He started becoming distant so I panicked and decided to tell him that I had fallen for him. I know...bad move and bad timing. I know that now. He responded with I have no business stirring up emotions in you like that (there are life circumstances that I am choosing not to share). We ended on good terms with his final statement to me being “I never said anything to you that I didn’t mean. You are beautiful and you should know that.” I took a break from social media and have recently started posting again. He has liked every single post I have made since coming back on. From a guy’s perspective, what does this mean?
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Reply Wed 29 Jul, 2020 09:46 am
It means he’s being understanding towards you and nothing else. Liking your posts is a way of showing friendship and nothing else.

You’ve made your feelings clear and he told you he wasn’t interested. If he was interested he’d be doing more than liking your posts.

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Reply Wed 29 Jul, 2020 05:30 pm
What Izzy said.

As a general observation: many very well adjusted people, who meet people who they relate to very well and want a friendship with:

- will not blame the other for developing feelings
- will give the other time for their feelings to adjust
- and when the other re-approaches, will let the other know they still wish to be friends

Then again, that is just a generalised statement. I don't know him personally. But Izzy's version is the most likely version by far.
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Reply Thu 30 Jul, 2020 02:59 am
It means he or you or both of you are most likely married/LTR ... But he would definitely like the world to revolve around him .... You are supposed to do exactly what he wants, his wife/partner no doubt the same, along with everyone else.

Obviously he plays about on the internet, maybe you do as well. In his case I doubt you are the only one and of course, it all massages his his tiny little ego.

Myself I am not an emotional person and do not require the validation of others. My wife and I have 30 years ongoing together and are still closer every day. Personally I would never think of 'chatting' to some other female, anywhere, to the extent she had 'feelings' ..... it is plainly being unfaithful.

The problem with the internet is that there are almost infinite levels of 'realism' .... What may seem perfectly real to yourself, is quite possibly a million kilometres from 'real' for the other party.

By 'talk' do you mean this, typing? Because that is what most people mean .... Ergo, what you 'fell for' was an idea which you had, which you fitted this disembodied voice into.

In general terms people who need to socialise, but for whatever reason fail to do so in physical life become easily ensnared in the trap of thinking the people they find on the internet are 'real' ... But very few are in fact.

Always remember the warning from internet history that was and is ..... talhotblond

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