Life is made up of conflict, lack of understanding, and confusion. To not know in which direction to go adds to this confusion. You are presented a case and we are not able to get directly involved, but we can re-state what life's reconciliations are, in most general ways.
Confronting problems does not mean that war must be declared. NOT confronting problems leaves open the possibility of a warlike future. You can not afford to negate that inherent conflict. You are very different from her. Maybe she does not even care about that dichotomy.
My suggestion to you is to have a LONG quiet talk whereby both of you are in a very relaxed, uninterrupted setting with no possibility of intrusion. You cannot afford to continue to avoid this build up to a mutual understanding. Open up to all possibilities, including the possibility that you will separate and what the monetary division will be. No kids are involved so that burden is lifted. But you must come to a mutual conclusion as to whether the relation will continue, or, whether a separation for a specific amount of time is best to hold onto hope. - David Lyga