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Sun 3 Jul, 2005 06:16 am
Ok, there's a bit of history, but I can summarise it quickly.
I've been working with a married woman for about 2 months, but there was no signs that anything would develop between us - especially given the fact that she is married.
But over the last weeks, we have spent so much time together, and have gotten to know each other so well, that when a colleague questioned our friendship we suddenly admitted to feelings that we previously thought were innocent. Now we cannot stop thinking of each other, and when we are apart we are both desperately missing the other person. The feeling is mutual.
I have been through the dating game for the last 10 years, but this is the first person I have wanted to share my future with. I can even imagine her being the mother of my children. And unfortunately, she shares the same feelings towards me.
Problem: We share a common desire for each other, and she has outrightly said that she would only leave her husband if I want to be with her. But if I say 'no' she would not leave him as their marriage is OK enough for her to stay.
Question: I honestly think she is the person I want to spend the rest of my life with, but I don't want to be the person who ends the marriage. What do I do? Do I wait? Do I walk away and regret this forever (and I will regret this)? Any help would be appreciated.
no no
There are other women out there. You will devistate her family and most likley it won't work out in the long run. Leave this job, don't look back. Do the right thing. It's NOT about you. Laura
Just keep looking, Ironic. It's hard to know someone well after a casual acquaintanceship, but if you persue this, you will know one thing for certain; the lady will run around on her husband.
...if she has children...forget it!!! stay well clear, you will get over it, its still early days and thats all I have to say.
if she hasnt....go for it! obviously something is missing in her marriage for her to look at you in that way...and if it works good on ya..if it does not
well at least you guys gave it a try.
Have you tried finding out why her marriage was OK and not GREAT. What is it that is missing from her marriage? Will you be able to provide what she is missing from her current marriage?
Marriage needs more commitment than seeing each other. It comes with more responsibilities. While you are seeing each other things might be rosy every where you look. But marriage demands more responsibilties and is not as rosy as it is when you were dating.
If she is cheating on her husband to be with you, what is the guarantee that she would not cheat on you to be with someone better than you? She is the kind who likes easier ways out of things. Instead of trying to make her "OK" marriage "GREAT" she is seeking to get out of it thinking she will be in a "GREAT" marriage with you.
Honestly, I can only smell disaster.
"Have you tried finding out why her marriage was OK and not GREAT. What is it that is missing from her marriage? Will you be able to provide what she is missing from her current marriage?"
Yeah I agree with Lovemyfamily on this one. You do need to find out what's wrong in her marriage. You also have to remember that your relationship with her is relatively new (2 months is very short) and may be very attractive due to its initial spark and novelty of 'the forbidden fruit' as it were, as opposed to living with her husband day in day out, which perhaps is a tad tedious... At 2 months you can't know eachother all that well... and for her to end her marriage for you is quite a risk as there are very few people that would marry someone after 2 months but she will end her marriage for someone she barely knows?!?! Maybe there is something very very wrong with her relationship and therefore you may not need to feel quite so bad about ending that marriage... Some points to consider here I believe. Good luck.
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