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Confused... Need help.

 
 
Keith33
 
Reply Sun 26 Apr, 2020 12:09 am
For the past 8 months I have been doing a long distance relationship with a woman who lives in South Carolina (I live in NY). Traveling has never been an issue for me, but I know it's been rough for her.

I knew when I got involved with her that she had just ended a marriage a little less than 2 years ago. I can tell even now that it still bothers her the way it had ended (he cheated). She never wanted to get into a relationship (at least not right away) but was open to something without labels.

This past month and a half has been rather difficult as we completely stopped everything until just this past week when she reached out to me. We've started chatting on the phone again and FaceTiming and the dynamics of it shows signs of before, but different. She wants us to take the "friends" route, but is open if things come full circle again. She also wants to be open to see other people, yet is afraid of losing me in her life.

I fell in love with this woman the very first moment I saw her (even though I've never told her that), even would have transferred with my job to be near her.

How am I suppose to approach or handle this situation without permanently being "friend zoned"?
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Methen
 
  0  
Reply Sun 26 Apr, 2020 07:37 am
@Keith33,
Simple, walk away, its pretty obvious by her general attitude why the guy cheated on her, if it is possible I would try to contact the guy that cheated on her get the real scoop of her nature and personality...
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bobsal u1553115
 
  2  
Reply Sun 26 Apr, 2020 07:50 am
@Keith33,
Take a step back and breathe in. That's what she seems to doing. Crowding someone who wants space never ever works out well.
chai2
 
  1  
Reply Sun 26 Apr, 2020 10:58 am
@bobsal u1553115,
Exactly.

As much as the OP doesn't want to hear this, he can't "do" something.

This is adult woman with full agency, and gets to make her own choices.

Personally, I think the term "friend zone" was mostly coined by men that are/were bitter that the object of their pursuit had the audacity to take things at her own pace.
Then, females took it up with each other as a way to "let him down gently"

Essentially, it's an excuse for both genders to avoid saying or hearing "I'm not interested in you." In a word, it's cowardly.

I wonder how the OP would feel if someone was asking how they could "make him" interested in her again?

Is there something wrong with remaining friendly, cordial with each other until one of the parties figures out how they feel?

Have some patience for gods sake.



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