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Divorce Decision

 
 
BB1
 
Reply Sun 19 Apr, 2020 01:59 pm
How long does it usually take to stop the internal back-and-forthing and make the decision to file for a divorce?

I've known for years that this is an abusive relationship and that it needs to end. I've formulated my strategy but I still have about 4 years to go before I am in a place I feel comfortable starting a divorce
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Type: Question • Score: 1 • Views: 288 • Replies: 8
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maxdancona
 
  1  
Reply Sun 19 Apr, 2020 02:11 pm
@BB1,
I don't understand the question. When you are ready you are ready.

For me, I realized my marriage wasn't working for a while. I asked my wife to go to counseling. She refused. We got into an argument. I slept on the couch for a couple of months. I asked one more time if she would go to marriage counseling. Then I was ready. I got my own room in a temporary cheap shared apartment and I moved out.

Once I was ready to make the decision (which I really made before the last attempt to get her to agree to counseling.. although I would have probably changed my mind), it was pretty easy.

I have never regretted it.
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PUNKEY
 
  2  
Reply Sun 19 Apr, 2020 03:24 pm
What “place” do you want to be in 4 years?

Couples in intolerable situations stay together for money, the kids, or sex. Which one is it for you?
BB1
 
  1  
Reply Sun 19 Apr, 2020 04:39 pm
@PUNKEY,
Health insurance and money.
Linkat
 
  2  
Reply Sun 19 Apr, 2020 05:05 pm
@BB1,
If it is an abusive situation - then yesterday.

Why 4 years if you are being abused?
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Linkat
 
  2  
Reply Sun 19 Apr, 2020 05:07 pm
@BB1,
BB1 wrote:

Health insurance and money.


Where do you live?

I would think in a settlement - say for instance your spouse is the health insurance suppler and s/he earns more money - then in the settlement the person may get insurance coverage and alimony.

Talk with a divorce lawyer and see what they say. Also if you are the spouse with less money your spouse may be required to pay for your lawyer.

It all depends on where you live - why you need to talk with a lawyer.
0 Replies
 
ehBeth
 
  1  
Reply Sun 19 Apr, 2020 05:32 pm
@BB1,
What are you doing to earn your own money and set up your own insurance?
BB1
 
  1  
Reply Sun 19 Apr, 2020 07:06 pm
@ehBeth,
I work full-time. I save every dime I can. My work does not offer insurance.
PUNKEY
 
  1  
Reply Mon 20 Apr, 2020 06:51 am
@BB1,
Are you sick? In need of constant Dr’s care?

Would you qualify for government assistance for health care? If your spouse makes more $$ than you or has current coverage, the court can award you coverage as a term of the divorce.

Your psychological health is as important as your physical. You are damaging your mind and body by staying in an abusive relationship.

Seek counseling. Your priorities are messed up. Self preservation, first.

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