father-in-law in the middle

i am married for 32 years and my father-in law is still creating problems - which started 32 years ago. He has a domineering, take charge personality and always makes sure he is the center of attention when he is around. My wife going back to the beginning has had the need/desire to please him and if I made objection to his behavior, I was seen as 'sensitive' etc.

Its a long story - but we moved to arizona, and then he and my sweet mother-in-law moved here too. They have since divorced and he is in Florida with another woman. The divorce did not leave my mother-in-law in a good financial place and she has to carry the payments on their condo which she has moved out of until it sells. My wife refused to allow my input on this injustice to her mother, as she could not buck her father. In order to have peace, I have tried to get along with him, and he indeed has tried to be more friendly. I just don't like to be around him and am at least grateful that he lives now in Florida.

The current problem is: we spent last summer in a development in California with great facilities. My wife told her father about this, and wouldn't you know, this year they have taken an apartment in the same place. My wife is pleased to be able to spend time with dad, and I am 'expected' to come out on weekends as I did last year. My wife has assured me that my time out there would be with her alone, but I know that will not be the reality because of her father and because I wont want to be rude. So now I am thinking I wont go out every week, and my wife is angry, and feels I haven't 'grown' and that I can stay home if thats how I feel. My wife and I have had ALOT of conflict over her father, and I don't know if I should just make the best and eat crow.

So I'm in the dog house, and wonder about your thoughts.

Signed,

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