Mon 17 Feb, 2020 07:03 am
So, I've never really dated, suck at flirting, shy, and don't know much about how guys show they are interested. There were times I thought guys did like me, but it never went anywhere and I always ended up heartbroken.
That being said, my current crush I met while volunteering with my mom. He works for the 'company' and is kind, letting us go first and opening the door for us. Nothing much really happened the first few times I volunteered except once when my mom wasn't around, he came right next to me, talked to me while smiling, and tried doing stuff with the bookshelf we were working on. Luckily, I didn't feel too shy and leaned a little towards him
(he didn't budge lol) to try to understand what he meant, but there is a slight language barrier since I'm not 100% fluent in my mother's language. That got settled by saying 'I'm sorry. I don't understand' lol.
Another thing he did was he ran into me (no one was around) while I was going through a door. It seemed like it was on purpose because clearly he could see me and it hurt lol. He apologized a lot and it was ok lol.
Then sometimes we would see him at seminars by his company to help and 2 months ago when I saw him he said hello and quickly looked down while smiling like he was shy. I just thought I was scary so I just replied and shrugged it off lol.
Then 1 week ago, I helped out with my mom again (we only volunteer once a month or so) and stuff was normal at first, but I noticed he was staring at my face more often. Sorta smiling? This time he also sat at the other table closest to me and once he just started laughing out loud when another guy said something, which startled everyone lol. While he laughed, he just leaned close to me and I'm like 'whaa?'lol.
Then my mom and I had to leave for a bit and he just kept staring, saying I should wear my jacket since I looked cold, and when we came back, I saw him sorta leaning back into chair? and looking at me at the corners of his eyes while smiling a bit, mouth slightly open too. Now, he was talking a bit and laughing a moment before when we came in so that could be the reason, but after I smiled a bit and did a slight bow and walked away, I saw his whole head and stare following me rofl.
After that, we did this experiment thingie and my mom asked if I wanted to do it too, he chuckled when I said yeah and was all watching, but when the other guy had to touch me for the experiment, he looked away and continued on his work.
Then it was time for us to leave. My mom was talking to him and I was behind her. I was hungry so I wanted to hurry up and leave so I turned away and started packing my stuff. After I finished, I saw him look at me from the corner of my eye and he started doing the same gestures while looking at me and slightly smiling, especially when I looked at him during that moment. (I knew he was looking because when I fiddled with my jacket zipper, he looked at it for a sec lol).
Then they walked away and I just happened to turn myself away from everyone lol. I saw him walk slowly to where I sat and then he just walked slowly back to where I stood (a little far though) and copied my posture and then stared at my face. I was staring at the computer next to him and saw him looking without smiling which surprised me. So I quickly asked if it was okay to leave the computer as it was and did a small hand gesture. Surprisingly (I thought he was dead lol), he responded quickly after, but spoke slowly while staring, not budging at all. Then he slowly turned his head to the computer and used similar words I said and did the similar gesture.
Then he slowly turned his head back and looked up back to my face and stared again.. He was like a statue and mirror lmao and his stare wasn't scary or evil looking. It looked soft.
Then my mom started talking to me and I slowly turned my eyes and head to her and I could STILL see him staring lol. After I turned my body away, he revived I think lol. Then we just said good bye and he saw us off at the door, but he still seemed dead.
Anyway, I apologize for the long stuff, but I just wanted advice on what to do. I won't see him for a while. Maybe until next month.
I think I might be unconsciously staring at him, but never when he's looking... I hope lol. I did read that I should smile back, but I'm scared I'm just the only one interested (or he loses interest) and it ends like the rest of my unrequited loves (even though I do sorta feel he is interested back).
So is it okay to at least think he's interested? Or should I just stay away and give up? Any advice is welcome. Sad and happy ones too. Thank you.
There is no magic indicator that shows someone is interested in you. We're all individuals with our own ways of doing things. Nobody here knows. Nobody here knows what sort of person he is. The only person who can tell you he's interested is him.
Sorry, but we get a lot of posts like this from people asking for some help in a romantic situation where we know nothing. Normally it takes the form of Why did x do y? What does it mean?
We don't know.
Thank you for your response.
I agree with you about what you wrote. I guess I'll stay away and give up. I don't know how to flirt and I'm tired of the heartbreaks lol. I'm probably not girlfriend material anyway with this type of depressing attitude haha. Thank you again for your help though.
Don't put yourself down. I'm sure there's plenty out there who would consider you wonderful girlfriend material.
Go out with friends, join groups that you're interested in on Facebook. It won't be long before you meet someone.
There's a power balance at work here too. He was in a far senior position to you, and could easily take advantage. (I don't him, so I can't say he would take advantage, but it's a possibility.)
You don't need that power dynamic.
Plus, it doesn't have to be flirting. You can - seriously - be blunt and direct, and any guy you're direct with will probably be relieved.
"Do you want to grab a coffee later?"
That's all you need to say, no lie.