Friend ended our friendship

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It's been two years since my friend messaged me on facebook saying that she could no longer hang out with me because she'd be too busy; she mentioned she was in a different time in her life and couldn't give to me like she used to; she said she was sorry. The reason for her busyness was that she was going into residency as a doctor. We're in the same city still and it's been two years since we had any communication. I miss her and haven't made new friends. I only have 2-3 at best. What did I do wrong? I fear that my friend was saying something between the lines and didn't like me anymore. Leading up to her message, we had only hung out a few times since I got rid of facebook for a few years and cut everyone off because of a serious health issue. Before that, we were good friends for only a year and a half, but I'm still interested in her and we don't have mutual friends. I see her on facebook and she gets tagged in photos. Should I make the first move by "liking" something she appears in on facebook? I'm too scared for obvious rejection if I message her directly. I'm so bummed. I also fear that she forgot me or thinks negatively of me. Thanks for your two cents!

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@wuwuchick28,

wuwuchick28 wrote:

What did I do wrong?

Don't ask random strangers who know nothing of you, your former friend and the relationship you shared. There's no way (especially without anymore necessary details) we can read her mind.

Quote:

Should I make the first move by "liking" something she appears in on facebook? I'm too scared for obvious rejection if I message her directly. I'm so bummed. I also fear that she forgot me or thinks negatively of me.

The only person who knows (or used to know) is your former friend. A ton of time has passed. She may have forgotten why she broken up the friendship in the first place. She maybe in the same emotional position as you are in. She may be too scared for obvious rejection if she messaged you directly, fearing rejection from you.

You need to move forward and contact her and let her know how you feel after all this time and accept the consequences as they happen.

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@tsarstepan,

Oh my! Thanks for your input. I am still glad I posted it. I wonder when I will be brave enough to reach out....

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@wuwuchick28,

wuwuchick28 wrote:

Oh my! Thanks for your input. I am still glad I posted it. I wonder when I will be brave enough to reach out....

There's no time like today. Or the weekend if you're just lounging around and just bingeing tepid Netflix junk.

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@tsarstepan,

Well, I just discovered that my message reply to her when she ended our friendship 2 years ago was "sent" in facebook but not "delivered" or "read". Now I learned from google that a message unread/undelivered means my ex-friend ignored my message and so I will not send her a message after all because all messages to her will probably be ignored. Now I think she feels negatively about me....

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@wuwuchick28,

wuwuchick28 wrote:

Well, I just discovered that my message reply to her when she ended our friendship 2 years ago was "sent" in facebook but not "delivered" or "read". Now I learned from google that a message unread/undelivered means my ex-friend ignored my message and so I will not send her a message after all because all messages to her will probably be ignored. Now I think she feels negatively about me....

Who cares? Seriously. There are always going to be people you like or you don't - it may have nothing to do with someone being a bad person, or anything negative - just that person is not your cup of tea.

If you want to broaden your horizons and meet more people get involved in what interests you. What do you like to do? You like animals - volunteer at an animal shelter - you like art, join an adult education art class - whatever it may be. You will have fun and meet people with similar interests.

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@wuwuchick28,

wuwuchick28 wrote:

because all messages to her will probably be ignored. Now I think she feels negatively about me....

That's two fracking years ago (according to you). Do you NOT understand how time works? That's a very long time for people who's feelings possibly could (and very likely) change ... hopefully for the better. You've been out of sight and (and maybe) out of mind. Enough proverbial water has passed under the bridge that is your relationship. Things most likely have cooled down and hurt feelings made better. Resentment (if existed) may have lessened or completely evaporated.

You should take a chance and reach out to her. Either way...? It's your decision. Contact or no contact. You have to live with the consequences. No contact seems a bit too bleak to me.

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Send her a card and write a note: Hi - long time no see! Would like to see you for lunch and catch up ( phone number)

You said she was entering her medical residency. That is a very busy time for any person. No wonder she had to cut off friendships.

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@tsarstepan,

Thank you so much! I will sleep on it...

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@PUNKEY,

Thanks! I don't have her address; I'm a little scared to see if her phone number works. Fb or her phone number are my two options. And yes, it was two years ago as of February according to Facebook. I wish I could bump into her face to face but we don't cross paths. Yes, I think her medical residency program lasts 4-5 years and she is in year 2.

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@Linkat,

Thank you! I agree....I promise myself that when I get a job, I'll stop stewing and go out more to meet new people since I'll have income.

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@wuwuchick28,

wuwuchick28 wrote:

Thank you! I agree....I promise myself that when I get a job, I'll stop stewing and go out more to meet new people since I'll have income.

Volunteering does not cost money...

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@Linkat,

Right! Yes, thank you. That can work!

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@wuwuchick28,

wuwuchick28 wrote:

Right! Yes, thank you. That can work!

And it does make you feel better when you give of yourself and help others - it is a win-win situation.

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Friend ended our friendship

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