Does he really like me? (Shy French guy)

Reply Sat 21 Dec, 2019 05:15 am
I’m asking for a piece of advice because I don’t have much experience especially when it comes to French guys (so if someone can help me to understand him it would be cool)

I study in France and we met at university about 3 moths ago. We’ve been seeing each other from time to time, but his behavior makes me confused, because I think he doesn’t have much experience as well as me, or maybe he doesn’t feel the same.

There are some things that make me feel like he’s into me (even though they could be confusing also)

1) mostly that’s me who ask him out but he always accepts
2) one time he texted me drunk saying that he wants to go out with me but he never asks because of “some reasons” but if I ask him he’ll accept (what’s going on dude)
3) he texts me drunk and being flirty and interested but when he’s sober he’s more just friendly
4) he remembers weird random stuff about me
5) he notices new in my appearance like new shoes or accessories
6) he texts me random stuff to start a conversation (I guess) but sometimes he doesn’t maintain it, like couple of messages and that’s all
7) he made me meet his family and friends (does it mean something to French people?)
8) one time he asked me to go to Paris with him, just the two of us, and we went but there wasn’t something romantic, but we spent couple days walking around the city

Still these things mostly make me feel like he’s interested but there are some things that make me doubt

1) we don’t have much physical contact. We haven’t kissed obviously, even when it comes to hugs he does it more like I’m his friend, when he accidentally touches my hand, he takes it off. I see that he keeps a distance but why?
2) sometime he acts like seeing me is not a big deal. He invited me to his friends party saying that he doesn’t think it’s a good idea. I asked why, and he replied “it may be awkward for you”. A told that if he’s not comfortable with me coming it was ok, but he said he doesn’t care. I don’t understand he wants me to go there or no? Should I go there?

Well that’s all, I’m pretty confused and want a piece of advice how to know for sure if he likes and what should I do

Reply Sat 21 Dec, 2019 07:15 am
In vino veritas.

Instead of pussyfooting around, ask him.

Tell him what you just told us.
Reply Sat 21 Dec, 2019 07:21 am
if I could just ask I wouldn’t be here
Reply Sat 21 Dec, 2019 08:44 am
So complete strangers are supposed to tell you what someone else is feeling?

Like I said up front. In vino veritas.

If you don't know what that means, look it up.
You managed to find a forum to ask a question no one but he can answer, so I think you'll be able to find that.
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Reply Sat 21 Dec, 2019 01:08 pm
You asked for advice and maybe people cant give you any. Just sone observations.

You clearly feel lacking in this relationship. I would too. He keeps you at arm’s length, fir sure.

Yet he has you meet his family. Was he using you to shut them up about having a GF?

Something’s going on. Find out more about him, especially why you would feel awkward at a party of his friends.
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Reply Mon 23 Dec, 2019 09:24 am
It does seem like he feels something for you, something more than just friendship. And it could be shyness.. Some guys really would just prefer for the girl to take the lead in initiating something. And it's easier to stumble over differences around that when you're abroad -- the imperative for guys to make the first move is stronger in the US or Eastern Europe than in Western/Northern Europe, for example.

But it could be something else too. Maybe he's not sure exactly what he feels himself. Or he's got mixed feelings. Or he's struggling with something else, not related with you, that you don't know about.. something that is getting in the way of venturing into a relationship with someone new.

Which in turn could be about anything. A past (or even ongoing) other relationship he's not over yet. Something traumatic in his past that's making him unable to initiate or commit to anything. Could even be some confusion around his sexuality.. not the likeliest possibility perhaps, but just to illustrate what range of things might explain his ambivalence.

Honestly, there could be many reasons why someone you like is giving off mixed messages, seemingly liking you as well but then backing off again at unpredictable intervals. The other posters, harsh as they were, are right about that: it's impossible for us to say, we can only guess.

The only person who might be able to get answers (though there is no guarantee any are forthcoming) is you. As scary as it is, if you are feeling torn up about this and don't want to just continue with the current ambiguities, all you can do is ask. Explain that you like him as more than a friend, but that you're confused about his reactions.. that you're wondering what's going on.

Maybe you'll get a straight answer, and it might be one you like or not. Maybe you won't get a straight answer, and that will suck (but it still won't necessarily mean he doesn't care about your feelings, it might just be that there's other stuff going on that's bigger than this).

If you get an answer that makes you feel rejected, or you don't get a straight answer at all, yes, that will suck... but unless you're ultimately okay with going on like this, I'm afraid you don't have much choice. And it might be better to know now than to get even more torn up later. And maybe you get another kind of answer - something that opens up the possibility of romance - or something that explains why he's behaving like this, which might preclude romance but create a stronger, more meaningful bond instead.

Whatever the answer (or non-answer) you get, you'll have reason to feel proud, because you'll have been brave enough to ask, and strong enough to create your own path rather than leaving it in someone else's hands. And the ability to do that will serve you well in the rest of your life too. Best of luck!
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Reply Thu 9 Jan, 2020 03:09 am
you should ask him directly and told him all your feelings.
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