Is it "normal" to feel somewhat numb after the first few months of a relationship?

Reply Mon 16 Dec, 2019 12:36 pm
I've been seeing someone for a few months and it's been somewhat intense (at least for me). He's talked about living with me and while I know folks in their older age don't want to fuss around much if they are looking for a serious relationship and also while I'm looking for the same thing it seems that once I'm involved, I become sort of numb to the whole thing. While I care about the other person and want to spend time with them, I get really anxious and nervous about making a commitment. I admit to taking a peak at the dating websites but not reaching out to anyone else. I've thought in the past maybe it's b/c I don't want to have and then lose the person (like my late partner) - it's a pain that I'm sure I can endure again but know that you need to take a chance for love.

The only other thing I can think of is that I'm concerned that we may not be as compatible as I first thought. Specifically, I want to travel but other than going to Florida for a few days in a few months to visit his friends and my family, when I bring up a bigger trip, he seems to hesitate. And for Florida, so far I've paid the airfare (I have a companion pass but he should pay 1/2 and he hasn't offered to pay for a share of the hotel even though we are staying with his friends a few nights - he should pay 1/2 of the hotel the other nights in my opinion despite one of the reasons we are going to Florida is to attend an event in my family; he also has said many times he wants to move to Florida and he wants to use this trip to look around but he hasn't said anything about what he can afford or asked me what I can afford).

Travel is a passion of mine I've told him many times and I need a partner who is interested and available to do traveling. Also, I'm feeling uncertain about how he is with money - by that I mean, his willingness to share/contribute. He always gives me a card when I see him on weekends and has occasionally brought store flowers as well as 2 pieces of very old jewelry (semi precious stones) from I don't know where, but definitely not my taste and I know he earns a decent living and has no kids, or ex to support anymore. I feel like I'm paying for too many things sometimes including groceries on weekends. I mean early in the relationship if he can comfortably afford these things he should be more generous in my opinion.

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Reply Mon 16 Dec, 2019 03:38 pm
Since you don’t mention any other qualities that you admire or would make you want to hang on to this guy, keep exploring others. He doesn’t sound like he “wows” you at the stage he should be “wooing” you.
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