Thanks for your answer, I agree with you fully and I intend to do that. For starter, I’ll stop going home with her, with her car and instead go with a bus, even if this takes me half an hour longer.
We actually haven't gone out for quite some time now, let's say over a month, or month and a half.
Now she started teaching company employees Russian language, and ofcourse I won’t be attending this lessons (there are also other reasons for this, but even if there wouldn’t be I wouldn't).
And she is organising some office events for holiday, and ofcourse I kind of want to avoid that too if possible (even though, this could be perceived as a bit strange, since I am very open and sociable person in the company, I’d say one of the most).
But I am guessing the reason for me to be having some sort of feelings towards her is that:
It surprises me how I haven’t seen her/fancy her in that way before, but then I started thinking she could fancy another co-worker and he could fancy her which made me kind of jealous or competitive, and only because of this I started thinking more about her.
I don’t know if this could be her tactic of making me jealous or more drawn into her, as in to show me a point like “you are not the only one out there”. Ofcourse I can’t do the same to her, since we don’t have a lot of women in the office actually.
I once mentioned to her that this abroad girl with whom we have some sort of long distance relationship, that she might come to our country for the Christmas holidays and my PM went into more serious mode and said something like "And you, ofcourse said no" and I was like "no, why would I say no?" and I think my PM was acting a bit sad after that, like she called her boyfriend some minutes after that and she was just more serious for that day (but it was at the end of the workday).
But all of this it could be just my speculations/assumptions.
So, I think it’s just because of this competitivenes that I feel something more for her, because before even with the going outs and the dinners, I was totally at peace with it. And I kind of want to let go of this jelaousy/competitivenes, to become indifferent to her, so that her actions can't affect me. Basically developing some sort of a shield about this. That's the goal.
And now I don’t know actually, did she even fancied me as something more even, or it was just something for fun.
And the saddest thing of all is that this woman abroad, really likes me and I want to be in love with this girl from abroad and I want to achieve that.