Relationship of one and a half years is over...

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I'm 19, my ex is 18. For the past few months she has treated me poorly, and I knew that we weren't going to last much longer. I've had a lot of resentment stored up over these months from all the hurt, and this past weekend I blew up at her over something silly. She decided to leave me. I'm really upset now, she was my best friend for around three years prior to us going out. We have a long history together and I've shared the best moments of my life with her. We lost our virginity together, shared proms, and she's the only person I know who really understands me.

I know that it was the best thing for us to separate, we just weren't working, but it's really hard for me to lose her right now. I'm a reserved guy, when I go to parties I don't really go with the intention of picking up girls, party girls aren't my type. It takes me a very long time to meet a girl that I can understand, and who can understand me like my ex. I'm feeling very alone right now and am wondering if anyone can give me some advice since I'm sure many people here have been down a similar path.

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For the past few months she has treated me poorly, and I knew that we weren't going to last much longer. I've had a lot of resentment stored up over these months from all the hurt, and this past weekend I blew up at her over something silly.

Virgil in the Inferno- It sounds like you knew that the relationship was not working. The reason that you blew up was that it was a lot easier than breaking up.

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I know that it was the best thing for us to separate, we just weren't working, but it's really hard for me to lose her right now.

Breaking up is never easy, at ANY time.. However dysfunctional the relationship, it was something that you knew, something in your "comfort zone".

The good thing about a breakup is that it gives you the opportunity to make an assesment of yourself, and the relationship. This is a wonderful time to learn the coping skills that will help you get through the emotional travail that you will encounter throughout your lifetime.

When a relationship dies, there is grieving, almost like when a person dies. It IS a death....the death of a connection between two people. Give yourself the chance to adjust to the change. Don't rush, and give yourself time to heal. You may not think so now, but you WILL get over this. You just need some time and distance.

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She has expressed interest in pursuing a strictly physical relationship. This is tempting for me (as i think it would be for many males my age) since the sex was absolutely fantastic. However, I also know that it is impossible for me to really divorce the emotional and physical aspects of a relationship and this can just delay any healing process. Is this a bad idea? We are both going to different colleges in a few months, and i'm much too attached to her to see anyone else this summer, should I wait until school starts to really start over again, or should I just buckle down now? I know no one can really answer that for me, however any advice would be appreciated.

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College will bring its own challenges and adjustments. Use the summer for self-exploration and practicing independence.

You and your former lover have been together in some degree for nearly 1/5 of your life. Use the summer to figure out who you are without her.

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You have two months left to ease yourself out of this relationship. Try to do it in such a way that you will always be able to look back on it as a great thing. First loves live in our memories for a lifetime, even though we do move on.

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Relationship of one and a half years is over...

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