Sun 17 Nov, 2019 02:12 pm
Well, the title probably sounds really bad but I promise I’ll explain further. Hi, I’m a 16 year old girl, that has two years left of secondary school/highschool before I start university/college. I’m currently facing some really debilitating anxiety. Basically, I have no proper friends, I truly don’t. People are only nice to me when I’m around them and then they talk **** about me when I’m not around. The reason why they do that is because of an extremely stupid mistake I made in the past that I already apologised for but I get it wasn’t enough. The little friends I do have are in a year above me and they’re about to leave for college at the end of the school year. I’ve received verbal abuse online and I’ve been blocked on Snapchat because of it. I try my best to be nice to everyone and it’s really draining. I know that in less than 2 years, these people will be nothing less than a painful emeritus but until I get there, it’s my reality. I feel extremely targeted and stuck . I know that I’ll be free of them soon but can someone please help me and give me advice on how to get through these two years. I probably sound really dramatic but it’s all I can think of. It’s preventing me from studying or socialising with my actual friends. All I want to do is study and do well in my final exams. I notice that studying helps pass the time in a day but I can only do that for so long. I can spend all of my lunches in the library for the next 2 years. I feel like people will forget that I exist. My mum told me to ignore it and she’s right, I should just ignore it but it’s very exhausting pretending to not notice when certain people talk about me. I don’t mean to victimise myself, I reflected on all my flaws and faults over the summer so I know that I’m not perfect and that 80% of this is my own fault. I still don’t believed I deserve this amount of exclusion. I’m nervous to go to school, it’s throwing off my appetite. I guess my actual question is, how do I make two years feel short without many friends or social interaction? I understand that this is a small tiny proportion of my life that is irrelevant and teenager bullshit but I feel very hurt and alone and it’s not helping me function so I may as well try my best to live with it for now. Thanks for reading.
The most important advice I can give is to find a counselor that you can teust. Your school probably has a counselor you can use, or better yet find a therapist. Adolescence is a difficult time and it sounds like you are javing a mofe difficult time than most.
A therapist can help by providing an experienced adult viewpoint and to show you a productive way forward without being so hard on yourself.
We are strangers on the internet. I can try to give healthy advice and helpful encouragement. A therapist or adult counselor will be much more helpful.