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Never had an initiative w/ women

 
 
Reply Sat 16 Nov, 2019 06:54 pm
Hello people. Maybe my doubt here is the same of some guys here.

People always considered me as kind of handsome guy. (Well, things had changed recently when I was forced to shave my beard because of my new job, but thats not the point). But I always had this inner suffering. All of my relationships with women existed because they had the first initiative. I never knew how to start a minimally seductive or attractive talk. I always feel dumb or too obvious in these moments. What do women expect me to do? Being the nice benevolent guy has never helped me (the same old story, the good guy remains alone). Reading formulas to it looks like too artificial, too forced, things I would never say/do. What are guys really expected to do? I dunno how to text a woman, how to talk personally for the first time, and Im a disaster at Tinder-like apps as well. When you feel needy, loneliness can be very cruel...
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chai2
 
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Reply Sat 16 Nov, 2019 08:58 pm
@Guadalion,
I notice you didn't have a problem saying on another thread that you are "a huge Rammstein fan"

That could very well be something you could bring up with a woman, or anyone for that matter.

I can't speak for other women, but I've never enjoyed "pick up lines", or "formulas" I don't want to be talked to like I'm something being hunted, or caught.
I also don't want someone thinking they have to act a certain way, only to soon find out that isn't what they are like at all.

I'm not some mysterious, unknowable, exotic creature. First and foremost, I'm a human being. So are you.

That said, I would suggest you speak to both men and women the same way. As yourself.

In doing that, you'll find both men and women with whom you have things in common.

Wouldn't it be fun to talk to someone who happened to be female, who likes the same things as you?
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NACHOFUNNYMAN
 
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Reply Mon 2 Dec, 2019 01:46 pm
@Guadalion,
Walk up, say HI i'm _____ what's your name. When conversation starts ask generals questions ABOUT HER, how you doing today, what brings you here. Ask almost any woman and they will say pick up lines are overrated.
chai2
 
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Reply Mon 2 Dec, 2019 02:11 pm
@NACHOFUNNYMAN,
If anyone walked up to me out of the blue and said "Hi, I'm xyz. What's your name?" My first reaction would be to say "What do you want?" I would think they were trying to sell me something.

How are you doing today?
What brings you here?

Those are, quite frankly, really lame.

How are you doing?

fine

What brings you here?

what? Oh, I don't know, I just randomly showed up at this grocery store, library, bed bath and beyond.

I remember one time I was at a pool I go to regularly. Someone I'd never seen there before was sitting on the edge of the pool. When I finished a lap and stopped to wipe my eyes or something, he says "Going for a swim huh?"

https://media.giphy.com/media/xUOxeRcogSrJksJMru/giphy.gif
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