I disagree. They may have an "option" to leave on their own but break my rules and that "option" now becomes a reality -- GET OUT.
Exactly that is what I said - maybe in a different way - but it is the same result.
Your example that an 18 yr old borrows my car and gets a speeding ticket and can't pay for it - only shows lack of parenting skills to make sure the child is ready and accepts the responsibility. You say take the car away, I say you were irresponsible to hand over a set of keys to begin with. It isn't a two week suspension, it's a forever banishment until they purchase their own car & buy their own insurance. If they get a ticket, that's on them, not me.
You do not live in reality. Have you ever drove over the speed limit? Have you ever gotten stopped or got a ticket?
I said to take the car away - I did not say to what extent - you also do not know the situation - was it a speed trap? I have never in my life gotten a speeding ticket at over 55 I did - it was a speed trap - set intentionally for out of state drivers - where the speed limit was 70 and went quickly down to 50 in an area I had never driven in before.
Meaning - you might take the car away for ever if it was reckless driving - if it was driving 5 miles over the speed limit - then it would some other infraction. So you really cannot say whether it is a mistake or whether it was reckless.
Have your children always been perfect; have they never done anything wrong? If not, then it only shows lack of parenting skills for what your child has done wrong.
Reality is a child, young adult and even and older person makes mistakes and it is not necessarily because of lack of parenting skills. If so all parents would be guilty.
If an 18 yr old fails, they fail. In high school, failing one class isn't going to kill them, they'll still graduate. In college, fail a class, make no difference to me or my GPA. FAFSA filing is dependent on a parent's income, but the student is the responsible party to pay it back. So again, if they fail, they're the one who has to re-take the class and pay twice. I'm not taking anything away especially a video game, it's not my job as a parent to do that.
I refuse to succumb to coddling an adult.
You are incorrect on the paying back - the bill comes to the parent - the only thing that the student is responsible for paying back are any loans. Not current tuition.
My child is in college currently I have working knowledge of it. If I do not pay the bill my daughter is kicked out of school - they do not go looking for her to pay - it goes on my credit.
And you are also wrong about failing a class in high school - there are many classes that are required to pass - you will not graduate if you do not successfully complete that class - believe me I also know this as one of my other brothers did not graduate as a result of that.
And for college failing a class - my younger brother failed everyone - wonder what that does to your gpa? Failing does impact your GPA, and in college you are required to have a certain number of credits - if you fail a class - yes it effects you. You need to make up that credit elsewhere and the failed class is still figured in your gpa. GPAs themselves count for getting scholarships, keeping scholarships and getting a job. Yes - you put your gpa on your resume for your first job - if you do not the potential employer will assume (rightly so) that your gpa is sub-par otherwise you would put that on your resume - again I have working knowledge as being in a position to review resumes for potential hires.
So although I agree with your saying not to coddle a failing adult - which I say their punishment from you as a parent is to no longer pay for college.
The video game reference was to a high school student in your home at the age of 18. You stop the failing by taking away what is distracting them. That may or may not be solution - this is under the assumption that the video game is what is causing the distracting and not something deeper -- you ok with that izzy?