7
   

Discipline

 
 
Linkat
 
  1  
Reply Tue 5 Nov, 2019 01:33 pm
@neptuneblue,
neptuneblue wrote:

I do live in reality, I haven't gotten a ticket since 2011, and guess what? I paid it. My son, at 16, got a speeding ticket in my car going to work after school. Guess what? He paid it! Imagine that!


Ok so did your parents lack parenting skills - did you? Well I guess so because you allowed your son to have the keys and he got a speeding ticket!

neptuneblue wrote:

My kids, at 22 & 18 both attend college. We sat down & filled out the FAFSA together. However, their student loans are THEIR student loans, not mine. Maybe you have a different set up than the Stafford Loan, I don't know. Their GPA is theirs to handle, or mis-handle if they choose. It's their right as an adult. Video games is not the issue, self reliance is. Taking away an adult's right to choose whatever they choose, is wrong to me.


wow did you even read what I wrote? - I stated that all the student is responsible for is their loans!

The difference in the tuition - do you receive the bill? Colleges address the bill to the "parents of ..." If you read what I wrote you will see that. So if you are paying the difference that the loans via the FAFSA does not cover (and as we all know they do not cover everything) - if your children were failing - would you continue to pay that part of the tuition?

I say if you are - then that is money just going out the door. I

If they were awarded any scholarships where a GPA is needed to be maintained - most university academic scholarships are set up this way for obvious reasons - and say their GPA went below this - would you pay the difference in their tuition that they lost due to having a low GPA? If the answer is yes - then you throwing money out the door. If you say no, then the GPA is important to you.

So yes for me the GPA is for them to maintain - but only in the sense if they do not - then I will not pay for the difference in tuition.

And as I stated before - regarding viewing video games - it had nothing to do with a college student - but you obviously do not read what others write because you have not read what I wrote at least three times.



0 Replies
 
Linkat
 
  1  
Reply Tue 5 Nov, 2019 01:36 pm
@izzythepush,
izzythepush wrote:

I wasn't being picky, you were trying to oversimplify a situation. I was pointing out what the consequences of such action could be in the real world.

I agree with most of what Neptune Blue said, at least as far as my oldest is concerned. He does what he wants, a lot of which happens to coincide with what I want so it's quite easy.

He pays his way, does lots of organising for me, left to my own devices I wouldn't have Roger Mellie as an avatar. We get on, but he's an adult who makes his own decisions.

My youngest is 20 and he's autistic which means in many ways he still is like a child. He's becoming more independent but I still have to sort a lot of stuff out for him. And if I'm not doing it for him his brother is.


The older is independent - I was referring to a child that is still financially dependent either because they are still in high school or college if you read what I wrote - I kept saying FINANCIALLY DEPENDENT.

Autistic is a whole other ball game - I have a niece that is so I understand how you cannot even compare to a child that is not.
izzythepush
 
  1  
Reply Wed 6 Nov, 2019 01:52 am
@Linkat,
Financial dependence has nothing to do with it. You gave a hypothetical situation which you thought was cut and dried. And if we're talking about a situation where you control all the variables then that would be the case, but that's not reality.

Your hypothetical case assumes the only problem is an inability to control computer game addiction, but that might not be the case at all. If the computer game is being used as a coping mechanism for something else then taking the game away could make things a lot worse.
Linkat
 
  1  
Reply Wed 6 Nov, 2019 05:57 am
@izzythepush,
izzythepush wrote:

Financial dependence has nothing to do with it. You gave a hypothetical situation which you thought was cut and dried. And if we're talking about a situation where you control all the variables then that would be the case, but that's not reality.

Your hypothetical case assumes the only problem is an inability to control computer game addiction, but that might not be the case at all. If the computer game is being used as a coping mechanism for something else then taking the game away could make things a lot worse.


My hypothetical said if this is the cause of the issue- thus that even takes away your premise that there could be something underlying - in the hypothetical it was determined that the issue causing the grades was playing all night not anything underlying - that is the reason for determining this.

Again as I pointed out nitpicking - which is why people like this poster come on for advice but then are never heard from again because certain people just like to argue and will try to pull apart any little detail with someone else rather than provide advice.

The financial independent I mentioned throughout what I wrote - that you would "punish" a child that was financially independent.

As per usual I am done with your comments on this going forward. I tried to provide reasonable explanations but you continue to nitpick - go forth because I know you will come back yet again



izzythepush
 
  1  
Reply Wed 6 Nov, 2019 07:05 am
@Linkat,
Looking at something on the face of it you wouldn't know there are any underlying factors without asking further, and if your child doesn't trust you they're not going to open up.

I'm using second person because this is a hypothetical situation. I don't know anything about your relationship with your kids and I'm not implying anything.
0 Replies
 
Underwood
 
  -3  
Reply Fri 8 Nov, 2019 11:09 am
My kids range in ages from 14 to 19. They all know that as long as I am supporting them and they are living under my roof, if I feel it is necessary, I will not hesitate to spank them and that know it.
neptuneblue
 
  4  
Reply Fri 8 Nov, 2019 11:42 am
@Underwood,
So, do they get to "spank" you when you've done something wrong?
0 Replies
 
maxdancona
 
  2  
Reply Fri 8 Nov, 2019 01:13 pm
@Underwood,
I find this quite disturbing. Spanking a 19 year old ia criminal assault. (Unless it is consensual... but even that isnt something you should do with a family member).
0 Replies
 
Miss L Toad
 
  -1  
Reply Fri 8 Nov, 2019 06:31 pm
@Underwood,
Is it just me, or is Underwood an inadvertently inauspicious anonym for someone who spanks naked children and young adults?

On the one hand corporal punishment is wrong, and with the other hand some people here could do with some form of discipline.

0 Replies
 
 

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