3
   

Discussion about a reaction of my crush when she saw my story.

 
 
chai2
 
  2  
Reply Mon 21 Oct, 2019 01:58 pm
@john129,
john129 wrote:

ok guys what i can do then .


Getting some professional help for your obssession would be an excellent idea.

I'm not joking about that.

I have a few questions, and I would appreciate it if you would answer them directly.

Do you have any understanding that this woman has a life of her own? Or, do you think her existence is entirely tied up in the fact that you have "feelings" for her?
john129
 
  1  
Reply Mon 21 Oct, 2019 02:26 pm
@chai2,
yes i understand and i know that she doesnt tie up in the fact i have feeling for her.
so what is then ???
chai2
 
  1  
Reply Mon 21 Oct, 2019 02:46 pm
@john129,
So you don't care about her life, who she could already be with, etc?

It's just all about you, isn't it?

She has no say so in the matter.
chai2
 
  1  
Reply Mon 21 Oct, 2019 02:49 pm
@chai2,
Oh. And as far as you repeatedly demanding some sort of answer from complete strangers, you also need to realize no one has any obligation to you.

Neither does this woman.

You've obviously asked anyone who would listen in your life about this.....repeatedly.

How many of them have you driven away?
john129
 
  1  
Reply Mon 21 Oct, 2019 03:17 pm
@chai2,
them refers to number of women i knew ???
0 Replies
 
jespah
 
  1  
Reply Mon 21 Oct, 2019 04:52 pm
@john129,
Kinda doesn't matter what we say, seeing as you've hung around for nearly a decade by your own admission, dropping hints that go nowhere.
0 Replies
 
chai2
 
  1  
Reply Mon 21 Oct, 2019 04:53 pm
@chai2,
BTW, what country are you from?
0 Replies
 
chai2
 
  1  
Reply Mon 21 Oct, 2019 04:57 pm
@chai2,
chai2 wrote:


You've obviously asked anyone who would listen in your life about this.....repeatedly.

How many of them have you driven away?



That's them.^^^

Doesn't matter anyway.

You don't answer questions. You still haven't answered what I asked. It doesn't go unnoticed.

You really don't get that this person is off living her life with little thought of you.

You tell everyone about your feelings, except her.

Take the mail to the right address. Meaning tell her, not us.
chai2
 
  1  
Reply Mon 21 Oct, 2019 05:04 pm
@chai2,
Off topic, but this reminds me of something that happened to me.

Long story short, I had to have a conversation over the phone with my ex-husband probably 10 years after we divorced. It was strictly a legal matter. By that time neither of us had any desire to have any conversation at all.

Can't remember exactly what he said, but at one point I had to say to him "Do you realize that I remarried about a year after we divorced? Like 9 years ago? You seem to think that my life just stopped."

What was really strange was that he had remarried as well. He was so self centered he couldn't imagine other people living their own lives.

To the OP, that reminds me of you. How many years have you been mooning over this person, and you don't know if she's even been available all this time.



glitterbag
 
  2  
Reply Mon 21 Oct, 2019 11:37 pm
@chai2,
Many, many years ago a young (but odd) AF Captain stopped me in the hall one afternoon and asked me if I would like to have dinner. It was unexpected, we had never had a conversation before, but I thanked him and although I was very flattered, I was engaged. He started to scream "BUT YOU NEVER GAVE ME A CHANCE"...I was a little thunderstruck because I'm pretty sure he didn't even know my name....I would never have tried to humiliate him for asking, but at the same time he erupted in anger as if we actually knew each other....and this happened in a busy hallway at a DOD installation. He stormed off, and after that word got around and other young women (at that time I was also a young woman) shared stories about being ambushed by that strange man. I don't know what ever happened to him, I hope he eventually found some happiness or got some serious help.
john129
 
  1  
Reply Mon 21 Oct, 2019 11:49 pm
@glitterbag,
Ok I want to tell you that I know that she isn't in a relationship, and if I know in future that she is in it with someone another I will never talk to her again. I just want the girl I love to be with me encourages me in my life and pushing me, I need someone I love do that. Because I feel good when that happens.
chai2
 
  1  
Reply Mon 21 Oct, 2019 11:54 pm
@john129,
Again, what about her desires?

How do you know she wants to encourage you as in a relationship way?

FFS, why are you telling everyone else all this?

Why aren't you telling her?

Get off your ass and talk to her, not us.
glitterbag
 
  3  
Reply Tue 22 Oct, 2019 12:41 am
@john129,
Well, that AF Capt. didn't know if I was or was not in a relationship. He wasn't the first creepy man that I ever encountered and he sure as hell wasn't the last. So do want to be known as the creepy odd guy who frightens her??? You can say she's not in a relationship, and maybe she's not. If she's not in a relationship, do you think that means she wants you? It doesn't!!! Just because you are feeling all warm about her still doesn't mean that the feeling is returned. Do you understand that? If a woman is not in a relationship (protected or marked by another male) that doesn't mean she is up for grabs for whoever shows up.

Think about this for a minute. Suppose there is a young woman who is swooning over you but you don't know she exists. You see a few remarks from an unknown woman claiming she will die without you. Do you search her out because she has 'claimed you'? Like you don't have a choice in the matter?

You are being intentionally obtuse, I will not be explaining this to you again. Get help before you get into trouble.
john129
 
  0  
Reply Tue 22 Oct, 2019 02:18 am
@chai2,
I told her by that story now
0 Replies
 
john129
 
  1  
Reply Tue 22 Oct, 2019 02:20 am
@glitterbag,
What kind of help did you mean?
chai2
 
  1  
Reply Tue 22 Oct, 2019 06:30 am
@glitterbag,
glitterbag wrote:


You are being intentionally obtuse


This says it all.

If you don't know what the word means. Look it up.
tsarstepan
 
  1  
Reply Tue 22 Oct, 2019 07:52 am
@chai2,
I'll make it easy and drop the definition to obtuse here.
Quote:
obtuse adjective
ob·​tuse | \ äb-ˈtüs
, əb-, -ˈtyüs\
obtuser; obtusest

1a : not pointed or acute : blunt
b(1) of an angle : exceeding 90 degrees but less than 180 degrees
(2) : having an obtuse angle
//an obtuse triangle
— see triangle illustration

c of a leaf : rounded at the free end
2a : lacking sharpness or quickness of sensibility or intellect : insensitive, stupid
//He is too obtuse to take a hint.

b : difficult to comprehend : not clear or precise in thought or expression
//It is also, unfortunately, ill-written, and at times obtuse and often trivial.
— Shirley Hazzard

M-W


b : difficult to comprehend : not clear or precise in thought or expression
0 Replies
 
tsarstepan
 
  2  
Reply Tue 22 Oct, 2019 07:55 am
@john129,
john129 wrote:

What kind of help did you mean?

Therapy/school counseling/social services... you take the pick that is available to you.
john129
 
  1  
Reply Tue 22 Oct, 2019 08:32 am
@tsarstepan,
OK what about when I talk to her next time apologize for that story???
neptuneblue
 
  3  
Reply Tue 22 Oct, 2019 08:34 am
@john129,
There shouldn't be a next time. She does not want you in her life, she's made that quite clear. If you persist, you'll be forcing her to report you to the authorities for a restraining order against you.

Leave her be. Now and forever.
0 Replies
 
 

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