15 Things a man can do at Wal-Mart...

...while his wife is taking her own sweet time

1. Get a dozen boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they are not looking.

2. Set all the alarm clocks in housewares to go off at five-minute intervals.

3. Make a trail of tomato juice leading to the restrooms.

4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone: "Code three in Housewares," and see what happens.

5. Go to the service desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on layaway.

6. Move a "Caution - Wet Floor" sign to a carpeted area.

7. Setup a tent in the Camping department... tell other shoppers you're sleeping over, invite them in if they bring pillows from the Bedding department.

8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask: "Why can't you people just leave me alone?"

9. Look right into the security camera, and use it as a mirror to pick your nose.

10. While handling guns in the Hunting department, ask the clerk if he/she knows where the anti-depressants are.

11. Dart around the store suspiciously, while loudly humming the theme from "Mission: Impossible."

12. In the Auto department, practice your "Madonna look" using different sized funnels.

13. Hide in a clothing rack, and when people browse through, say: "Pick me! Pick Me!"

14. When an announcement comes over the PA, assume the fetal position, and scream, "NO!...It's the voices again!!"

15. Go into a fitting room, shut the door and wait a while. Then yell loudly, "There's no toilet paper in here!"

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This may have been posted on here before (apologies then! )...I just read it at another forum and some of the things really cracked me up! My favourite is #7.

Julie