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Prove You Are One, or Two...

 
 
CalamityJane
 
  1  
Reply Sun 12 Jun, 2005 08:54 am
No, but you could habe been more attentive towards her Wink
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spendius
 
  1  
Reply Sun 12 Jun, 2005 10:03 am
C.J.

I was attentive.The record is there to see.On many a winter's afternoon I have waited patiently for the pregnant dawn to steal slowly over Manhattan and wake the little sleepy head and I have suffered agonies of impatience,so stoically borne,whilst she dawdled over breakfast and my time fast running through the glass.She encourged ,nay almost begged, me to equip my residence with this very machine at which I now sit and on which I have so often pounded out my yearnings.No sooner do I acquiesce to her blandishments than off she goes leaving me with only the "refresh" button to while away the dreary hours of frustrated finger-itch.
It was only in the depths of my gloom that I was tempted to click onto the Trivia thread.It was almost a drunken lurch.

And she hints that I have been rude despite her own interjections,as short as they are rare,being much ruder than I would ever dare in refined company.Oh!C.J.'Tis I who am wronged.How could I have paid her more attention than I did.I refined compliments on a whetstone for her and delivered to her lustrous feet a whole necklace of baubles.

I am bereft and it is hardly within my capacity to resist seeking solace in the arms of others.I am one of those unfortunate beings who find other men somewhat lacking in grace and thus to assuage my loneliness I am driven towards those divine creatures who appreciate my needs and look kindly upon them.

Thank you for taking an interest in my dreary case and for suggesting how I may come to have more success.I am very grateful.Thank you.
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CalamityJane
 
  1  
Reply Sun 12 Jun, 2005 10:33 am
Laughing Laughing Your funny bone tickling you today.
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spendius
 
  1  
Reply Sun 12 Jun, 2005 11:20 am
Oh Miss Calamity:-

You should not make fun of a poor man brought low.It is cruel.
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Ethel2
 
  1  
Reply Sun 12 Jun, 2005 03:22 pm
Quote:
Should I have been more patient?


I'm glad you've being circling the block and found that others, like myself appreciate your sweetness. You ole cutey you. <pinching Spendi's cheek>

I'm back in Faustian country, however, I have a bit more work to complete. I only have a little time each day until I'm done. Should be done by Wednesday. I always thought your plan of isolating yourself on your own humble threads was a mistake and a shame. There are so many fun type a2kers you can delight with your poetic wit. And I know the women love you......how could they resist?

Waiting is wasteful and unnecessary.

Sorry I have to work, but you know, somebody has to pay the Faustian bill. Manhattan apartments ain't cheap, ya know.
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Mathos
 
  1  
Reply Sun 12 Jun, 2005 04:30 pm
There are certain peculiarities regarding people who reside in 'large cities' Are they insecure?
There is land a plenty in America, it can be purchased reasonably low cost as well. A fine home with scenic views need not be a day dream at all. So why live like chickens in incubator's?
No true sun light can ever reach the spots you would wish it to. Then there are those lifts, (elevator's) escalator's, how much oil does it take to keep Manhattan's get me to my door machine running for 24 hours? I am fortunate, in so far as much as I am able to gaze through open curtains from my king size bed and view without restriction the backbone of England, save for an odd church steeple or two. Apart from those who reside on my land, and they be out of sight, my nearest neighbour is a good few minutes walking distance. Having spent travel time in large hotels throughout the world, I doubt I would enjoy an apartment. The actual base land has a certain value which is multiplied in false value for each floor above it. Rather like charging everybody with an apartment as much as the creator desires, for the same piece of foundation. Then there has to be a lack of privacy. Security costs must be high, does every apartment in New york have a panic room for instance? I was talking to a young chap today in the local, he is buying his first apartment, for £135,000..00 approx $260,000 from the top of my head. There are rules and regulations to abide by. No pets, specified vehicle parking, no loud music,
no anything that might upset the neighbours. Why don't you get yourself locked up for a while I enquired? "That's a daft question," he replied. "Mm like buying an apartment." was my response, as I ordered another gill.
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spendius
 
  1  
Reply Sun 12 Jun, 2005 04:51 pm
Lola:-

I knew.I had faith.Thurday was always my favourite day of the week.On Fridays the ladies used to go mad with relief but the benefits of that only lasted for about 7.5 minutes,with potentials negative added,but on Thursdays one had hours and hours of anticipation."Tomorrow Night" and all that.It was easy reading under the blankets with a miner's lamp when my Mum used to ring my extension and say "spendi-lights out" just before the dawn cast its rosy fingered shafts across the terraces.And I always obeyed.Except when Mr Holly and Leo were discussing the best way forward when they were hanging off the cliff without knowing what awaited them below.
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spendius
 
  1  
Reply Sun 12 Jun, 2005 04:56 pm
Mathos,

What's it like $260,000 off the top of your head.It doesn't sound so good to me.You should try twenty quid on the bottom of your necessities.
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extra medium
 
  1  
Reply Sun 12 Jun, 2005 06:28 pm
CalamityJane wrote:
No, but you could habe been more attentive towards her Wink


How? Suggestions?
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Ethel2
 
  1  
Reply Sun 12 Jun, 2005 09:19 pm
extra medium wrote:
CalamityJane wrote:
No, but you could habe been more attentive towards her Wink


How? Suggestions?


I was being ignored........but oh well. Never mind about me. I'm just working my fingers to the bone trying to make ends meet in my meager little apartment at the top of the elevator on the ugly crowded Upper East Side of Manhattan. The MG and I walked down the street to Goggies for breakfast on a rather warm day this morning (after arriving from the airport at 8 am) and had eggs and toast as we watched hundreds of fun New Yorkers clad in skimpy clothes and sun shades.

I was so hungry for New York culture that I had to ask the couple seated at the table beside us to please speak English because we were having trouble overhearing their conversation.

So, never mind about me. I'm content. I don't mind. Some reward for all my hard work.........but oh well, never mind me. I'll just continue working with diligence and perseverance regardless of a lack of attention and encouragement.

la ta da
la te da
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spendius
 
  1  
Reply Mon 13 Jun, 2005 08:32 am
Lola:-

Thy plaintive wail of woe cannot go unheeded Madame.The Knight's wild eyed black charger has been spurred into action.But where is She?There are so many castles and so many towers and the noise is dreadful.

Hold forth from the window in thy tender fingers a small fragment of white diaphanous lace or flannelette and wave it in the humid zephyrs which caress the harsh,unforgiving walls of thy prison.Such a cunning strategy in conjunction with the keen senses of my faithful pointer Valmont will be sufficient for your deliverer to espy the very chamber in which thy steely eyed captors are holding thee and exploiting thy diligence and perseverance for their evil ends.

My brilliant scheme would be greatly facilitated if thou couldst smuggle abroad a ground plan of thy dungeon so that when I burst through the outer defences with my assistant Lauzan,who it pays to watch carefully,I will not be confused and can the easier throw thy precious person over my shoulder and carry thee down the stairs, as fast as the wind,
to my sturdy mount whence we will gallop off into the sunset if thou can cling on firmly to my tunic.Be sure to be wearing thy polished black boots because I will toss thee into the first duck pond we come to otherwise and concern thyself not about Lauzan who is skilled at providing diversions and downright duplicities in my service.
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Ethel2
 
  1  
Reply Mon 13 Jun, 2005 10:18 am
http://www.fanofunny.com/gallery/lauzan/images/lauz09.gif
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spendius
 
  1  
Reply Mon 13 Jun, 2005 10:38 am
Lola:-

You no likee my leetle jests?
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spendius
 
  1  
Reply Mon 13 Jun, 2005 11:04 am
Lola:-

If I may be so bold and garble Flaubert a little,did you censure the thought while admiring the style or denounce the conception but applauded the execution or were you exasperated with the characters and spell bound by their story.

Or did you execute the lot?Ball basher.
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Chai
 
  1  
Reply Mon 13 Jun, 2005 11:10 am
extra medium wrote:

Well, it seems like there is at least one other person out there other than me.

Unless I'm typing all this crap, then I forget I posted as other people, then I answer myself. Kind of like Fight Club or Memento (two of the greatest movies of all time)



OOOOH, yes, I really loved Memento!

In Fight Club, I loved the part where they were stealing rich womens ass fat to make soap, and the bag broke. ggggggggggllll.

If you liked Fight Club - read the book "Choke". it's by the same author. You'll never feel the same way about Jesus's foreskin again.

I've often wondered if there's only 5 or 6 people here.

Sometimes I feel like different people on here. You know, different sides of my personality depending on the thread.
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Ethel2
 
  1  
Reply Mon 13 Jun, 2005 11:17 am
It twas not me, dear Spendi, but rather your untrustworthy Lauzan who did the dirty deed in my name. He should be punished, I think. don't you?
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Ethel2
 
  1  
Reply Mon 13 Jun, 2005 11:22 am
Lauzan is a clever dude, sneaky and deserving of a night watchman.

http://www.fanofunny.com/gallery/lauzan/images/lauz06.gif

Oops, there he goes again. And Valmont, not far behind.

Quick, grab my little white lace hankie........
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spendius
 
  1  
Reply Mon 13 Jun, 2005 11:39 am
The sleeping beast stirs does he?

Lauzan would never do such a thing.Madame Lola von Bumpskins needs no advice from me on why,where,when and how to punish serious insubordination.All I can say is lay on heavy.

Who ever heard of a flannelette hanky?It was a table cloth silly.
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spendius
 
  1  
Reply Mon 13 Jun, 2005 11:52 am
Lola:-suggestion on ACRONYM thread.Before starting.
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Mathos
 
  1  
Reply Mon 13 Jun, 2005 04:12 pm
Methinks Professor Spendius is in profound water's.
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