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Thu 9 Jun, 2005 03:04 pm
Tomorrow I have a post test.I have to write one paragraph,but the subject I dont know yet.He will be giving me a list of choices. Can anybody give me any advice or help to make everything easer.Some pointers or anything would be appreciated.Thanks JEN
It's kind of tough to help you when I'm not sure what you need to be writing about however, here are some general essay tips:
Choose a topic that has many options. Meaning, don't pick a topic that has only one right answer. Pick one that is thought provoking, one that has multiple answers.
Write all your throughts down first before putting them into paragraphs. Makes it easier to determine what you want in, where you want it and how best to write it. That thing they teach you about outlines? It does work. You don't need the numebrs or letters, a simple list will do.
Once you've got that all down, pick out the ideas and thoughts that go best together. Then, decide which order they go in. Then put them together in your essay.
Good luck!!
Welcome to A2K, jenniejen. I'm afraid that I only have questions for you rather than answers. Are you a native English speaker? What does this test seek to measure; your understanding of paragraph structure? What part of the is test troubles you the most?
Valpower wrote:Welcome to A2K, jenniejen. I'm afraid that I only have questions for you rather than answers. Are you a native English speaker? What does this test seek to measure; your understanding of paragraph structure? What part of the is test troubles you the most?
Good questions...I didn't consider that she was not a native english speaker.
For whatever good it did, Bella. I can only hope your general tips helped her pass the exam.
Thanks Bella for the advice
Hello everyone. Sorry I didnt get back sooner.Got stressed out , and logged off.Well I took the test today and got some kind of blockage.I dont know what the hell happened. I just couldnt think.
He gave me some stuiped ass topic that I new hardly nothing about.
This is what I did.Almost anyways.I have a ruff draft.
Why Dont People Vote
There are a few basic reasons why so few eligible voters bother to vote in presidential elections.When its election time, only a small majority of the population bothers to vote.Alot of the United States citizens dont bother to vote, believe it or not, because their just plain lazy. In addition, alot of people dont like to vote,because they dont care for the United States goverment: or its President.Ever since, the twin towers were struck by airplains,the President has sent many troups over to Iraq.As a result, the United States and its Social Security system are going bankrupt. Last, there has been less jobs and no medical for people.Maybe if the President did something about it, more people would vote.
Well it was something like this.I know I really messed up.What do you guys think.Pass or Fail. By the way.Pass in my class is 74
Well no reply yet.Guess ill take that as a fail.
jenniejen, Valpowers' questions interest me too -- we need to have more context before we can give more feedback. If you're learning English as a second language, that's quite good. If you're taking a graduate level English class, not so much.
I'm guessing native English speaker, high school or so?
Some errors I notice right off:
A lot is two words (not "alot.")
They are or they're just plain lazy, not "their."
The "they don't care for" sentence doesn't make sense -- as written, it means they don't care for (don't like) the president, which would seem to be a reason TO vote (to get him out of there.) You might have meant that they don't care about.
No comma after "ever since."
Troops, not troups.
The "as a result" sentence has... wow... lots of errors in it. :-) (Logical/ factual errors, not grammar.)
The last sentence goes back to my previous comment -- if the president did something about these problems, maybe people would vote FOR him. But low voter turnout does not logically follow from the fact that he is doing a bad job -- if it's bad enough, it would be more logical for them to vote against him/ for someone else. An especially bad president could increase voter turnout, as people who normally don't care are energized to get him out.
sozobe wrote:jenniejen, Valpowers' questions interest me too -- we need to have more context before we can give more feedback. If you're learning English as a second language, that's quite good. If you're taking a graduate level English class, not so much.
I'm guessing native English speaker, high school or so?
Some errors I notice right off:
A lot is two words (not "alot.")
They are or they're just plain lazy, not "their."
The "they don't care for" sentence doesn't make sense -- as written, it means they don't care for (don't like) the president, which would seem to be a reason TO vote (to get him out of there.) You might have meant that they don't care about.
No comma after "ever since."
Troops, not troups.
The "as a result" sentence has... wow... lots of errors in it. :-) (Logical/ factual errors, not grammar.)
The last sentence goes back to my previous comment -- if the president did something about these problems, maybe people would vote FOR him. But low voter turnout does not logically follow from the fact that he is doing a bad job -- if it's bad enough, it would be more logical for them to vote against him/ for someone else. An especially bad president could increase voter turnout, as people who normally don't care are energized to get him out.
Well thanks for your input.I know I messed up bad on this one. Im in college, and in Writing: Foundation of English.Im studying to be a nurse, and it seems like I never learned this stuff in High school.Well, I guess only GOD can help me now.I will Let everyone know what my grade is when I get it back.
I hate to say this, Jenniejen, but if you want to get answers, you are sending out all the wrong messages. This forum is manned (and womanned?) by lovers of language who want to help those who have a desire to learn, not those who merely want to pass tests.
I get the sense that you haven't found the importance of language, apart from grades, and that you certainly haven't embraced the challenge as something enjoyable. Your initial plea for help on paragraphs seemed earnest enough, but to follow it with concern only for its ability to pass or fail and express your disdain for the "stupid-ass" topic will not win hearts here and will not, therefore, get you answers.
As for the paragraph, it would be helpful to have more information about the purpose of the test and the exact topic as suggested by the instructor. In the absence of this, I will say that if the test sought to evaluate your understanding of basic paragraph structure (topic sentence, supporting sentences, and concluding sentence), you've done alright. The topic suggests that a certain level of formality is expected and on this matter, you've missed the mark. Phrases like "believe it or not" and "just plain" are informal and wouldn't be suitable for academic or journalistic writing.
Sozobe pointed out a few of your grammar and spelling mistakes. To those I would add a few more. "Last, there has been less jobs," should read "Last, there have been fewer jobs." Use "fewer when you are referring to something that can be counted, like jobs, and "less" for those that can't, like peanut butter (you can go from 40 jobs to 30, but not from 40 peanut butters to 30--jars, yes, but peanut butter, no). "No medical" is an incomplete phrase. No medical what? No "medical insurance" would be a little more to the point.
I hope this helps, but more than that, I hope you realize that English is worth mastering. If you give me more information about the test, I will be happy to provide you with more analysis of the paragraph.
By the way, God can't help you. I believe he only speaks Spanish.
I already took the test.I like to write about things that I know or interest me.Voteing does not interest me and I just went blank.Everything else I wrote for my class I passed.I always had a good topic except for this time.I was just worried because my teacher said if the class does not pass this test we wont be able to move up.Two other people are going to read it ,and out of the three they will decide if I passed or failed.Well, guess you all misunderstood me.Im just a worrier.
Next time, if there ever is another time I get a writing assignment,Ill post it here.The one I posted was already done but only a ruff draft.I hope I didnt make them mistakes on my test.Oh well.
Jen
Valpower wrote:By the way, God can't help you. I believe he only speaks Spanish.
LOL, Well he helped me so far. By the way, He probably speaks every laungage.Including ones man has never heard of.
Valpower, just curious.Are you going to school, are u a teacher,or are u just having fun writing.
Another child left behind.
InfraBlue wrote:Another child left behind.
Interesting, very interesting.
Be back in the morning.Jen
jenniejen wrote:Valpower, just curious.Are you going to school, are u a teacher,or are u just having fun writing.
On A2K, I am both a student and a teacher, but elsewhere I just enjoy writing.
If you are in college you didn't just start writing. Why did you have such a hard time with that topic? You are going to be a very unhappy person if you think that you will always get to write about things you like, or talk about things that interst you. Especially if you want to become a nurse. People will talk your ear off about things you couldn't care less about.
As for your paragraph, I am sad to see you didn't utilize any of my suggestions. I think that sorting out your thoughts before writing might have lessened your anxiety and helped you to feel more secure about the topic.
As well, if you have a desire to write better, there are plenty of people here willing to help you. But please remember that criticism comes with learning and if you are unwilling to take constructive criticism, you won't learn much here.
Either way, I am glad you "passed" your test and I hope you continue to learn more about writing. It is an invaluable tool. Like it or not, people judge you by the way you speak and present yourself. If you are articulate, people assume you must be smart. If you can't speak basic English properly, people assume you are ignorant.
So, good luck with your writing and please feel free to ask any questions you have regarding writing and English.
jenniejen wrote:InfraBlue wrote:Another child left behind.
Interesting, very interesting.
Be back in the morning.Jen
I think what was meant by this is that you (by no fault of your own most likely) didn't learn the basics when you should have learned them. In grade school and high school.
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