Incidentally, I have always been commitment-oriented, never a playa, really....that freaked out a lot of girls while I was young and dating.
Not friends can be an exciting start, but not so great for the long middle, unless you do like life in a war dance. Whatever.
On acting gay to meet women...oh, I can go along with it potentially happening occasionally, but not a big percentage of the times when men and women meet, among the billion we are on earth. Sounds more like a book or screenplay construct to me. Therefore possibly interesting for those...interested, but, for me, silly, or sadder than silly.
C'mon...friends first? How many times do I have to go over this? Should start a new thread on it...but anyway ladies, put down the romance novels, once a guy is in the dreaded "friend" zone, you look at him like a girlfriend, nothing more. Not saying he's gotta go in for the kill on the first date, but as a guy, you should really act on your physical attractions pretty soon, if it doesn't work...NEXT.
Ironically, I have this girl I've been friends with for a long time, and I'm pretty sure I could hook up with if I wanted to, but stuff like that is very uncommon/unlikely.
My wife and I became friends long after we were 'involved'.
"Became friends...after we were 'involved'"......exactly. Not, "we were friends long before we were involved."
Slappy what do you want us to say? I hate playing guess my mind.
Not all women have the opportunity to have good gay friends male or female. Some do and do not know it. But never the less a good friend is a good friend and those are hard to come by.
Most of my friends are very old friends 20 or more years. My male friends are not all gay but a couple of them are and one of my best friends is a gay woman with a partner.
One of my best friends is married and and not gay. I know his wife and she is not jealous as she know we are just friends.
Cav - I admire a marriage like your's and have known many to have had such a lovely expereience. I had it once for about 15 years - by the time 21 years came around he wanted a new red head, oh well history. Guess we not the friends I thought we were.
In the end it all come down to trust IMHO, not trust of not having to worry about a sexual advance but just plain old trust and honesty. Any time you get that it is a treasure wether you are in a sexual relationship or not, married or not, gay or not.
We are trying to get the honesty/trust thing down early Joanne...time will tell, but we are both pretty stubborn about keeping things together. We may just stay married forever just so neither of us can say "See? I knew you would leave."
We maintain a healthy sense of humour as well.
I've got plenty of female friends too that are nothing more than friends. But I know they're never going to "turn" into lovers, and don't want them too, either.
I had one female friend I should have had the courage to sleep with...back in university, we were mad tight. One evening, I was invited for a movie-fest/beer-fest/sleepover. Late in the evening, the boyfriend pops by to see us lying on the floor together laughing, and both dressed in black sweats and black t-shirts. Man...talk about an awkward moment...he gets all upset and she hauls him into the bathroom and yells at him for being an asshole and insulting her friend, and he leaves. Then I spend the rest of the night listening to her cry, and moan about how crappy she was to her boyfriend, and what a nice guy he was. Yeah, girl "friends" are great....still, think I coulda played it had I wanted to...but who needs that sort of drama?
the girls to blame
" What I find deplorable is that guys are faking it as a ploy to get women into the sack. I think that it is an insult to the women, deceptive, and really cruel."
What i find deplorable is how women treat gay guys differently to any other guy or girl, they slease all over them. Infact its a common female misconception that "gay", as it implies intrested in guys, means not intrested at all in females. It seems the rule which applies to all minorities, specificly blacks, of "1 drop of black blood makes you black" applies to gays too. I am yet to meet a gay guy who is not fascinated by the female body, in fact it almost seems as if gay guys are more sexual and more fascinated by the female body. Females cant chase gay guys purely cos they believe them to be understanding, what, female-friends arent? They chase them cos they wanna enjoy the male body without feeling like a slut, females who go after gay guys, to me, are sluts. I was at a club with a gay friend and his ex-girlfriend was there, she sat on his lap, A female friend of his asks me - "i thought he was gay" and i told her exactly that. You could say all gay men are strays, yer he's intrested in guys, but when girls smut all over him he doesnt tell them "by the way, im bi".
The wowen (fag hags) who slease all over guy guys usually have low self esteem, low self image and above all lack a strong father figure in their life. If they weren't fag hags they would be going out with 30-40' year old guys. Most of them would warm towards older males.
Girls who have boyfriends and want/have a gay friend are infact cheating on their boyfriend emotionally, they form a bond which can only happen between a male and a female - the tell each other everything relationship. Yes its a form of cheating, the emotional affair, i used to think partners having a problem with the internet affair was silly too, but now i understand that its cheating emotionally. Fag-hags and gay guys prolly love each other just like if they were going out and it sickens me.
pretty strong sentiments skotup !
TO be honest i am shy, sweet, quiet, unaggressive, forgiving, compassionate and empathetic and I have noticed that many girls find me attractive because i have a wonderful personality so women and girls say. I am 18 and I have lived in USa for 9 years I am a a foreigner i came here when i was 8 and I like it here but sometimes I have always wanted to see what it would be like over there. Well I can also be macho but most of the time i am shy and considerate of other peoples feelings For instance I cry in sad movies like Walk To Remmmaber I am not afraid to show my feeelings I am a man and I am not afraid of showing that I am a person with feelings.
Hmmm...the majority of my friends are either female, or gay men, and I have to say that this does have its advantages. My women friends tend to see me as the "nice guy" they wish to set their girlfriends up with,and the women who are attracted to my gay male friends are often quite happy I'm (mostly) straight.
(where is the feline engaging in canarypahgia icon when you need it?) :wink:
@Slappy Doo Hoo,
That's only sexy if Vampirella says it!
@frolic,
I'm straight. But I pretend to act like a gay man pretending to be heterosexual. That way I don't have to dance and still get laid.
Wow.
There were gay men back in 2003?
