Is there really an entity one might define as "god?" Don't believers just anthropomorphize the universe or a cabbage or something when they invent notions of a god? There is no intelligence as equated to the human mind when contemplating the actions of this universe. It's a self hoax that provides emotional baggage and little else.
That you write about 'god' consistently belies your words. Somewhere in your belief system is the root called 'god' growing in a stone destined to crack open.
You claim to be Christian, but you don't seem to know the first thing about the subject. You really should read your bible, forgetting all the non-biblical stuff you have picked up from unlearned people, and claim your rights as a Christian.
It is not reliable to let people tell you what the bible says. Many people will make up stuff because they don't know what it says, and many will make up stuff because they wish it would not say what it says. You just have to read it for yourself.
Read a chapter of Proverbs every day. Proverbs has 31 chapters so you can keep your place by just looking at a calendar. There is no religion or nothing in Proverbs and you don't have to believe anything. Just read to find wisdom.
When you are comfortable with that, then read the bible from Romans to 2 Thessalonians over and over until you start to remember passages. That is the part that applies to Christians.
Romans 10:9-10 King James Version (KJV)
9 That if thou shalt confess with thy mouth the Lord Jesus, and shalt believe in thine heart that God hath raised him from the dead, thou shalt be saved.
10 For with the heart man believeth unto righteousness; and with the mouth confession is made unto salvation.
Either you believe and are saved or you don't believe and are lost. There is no in between, no flavors of Christianity. Your initial post plainly shows that you don't understand anything about Christianity, so you just need to get in the book and learn it. Then we can talk about whatever you were trying to say there.