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Should I break up with my best friend?

 
 
vhhtx
 
Reply Tue 10 Sep, 2019 12:03 am
I have a bff and I cannot see my life without her. a year ago she did something hurtful to me that I just can never let go or trust her again. Long story short I got in a fight at school. Part of the reason i got into the fight was because she twisted my words of what i said to her to this other girl and basically the other girl got mad and confronted me about it. One thing turned into another and it led to me being punched in the face and head several times. I felt so humilated. I basically got beat up in front of the whole school. I confronted my friend by texting her asking her why she would run her mouth about something I never said, to somebody I dont even get along with. But that made her mad she basically called me names and threatned to show up in my house and fight me too. But the part that really broke my heart was when she went on my instagram and posted a comment saying "you got beat up mane" with the laughing emoji. I honestly can forget about her running off her mouth and twisting my words to that girl because maybe it was a misunderstanding. But how could she have the audacity to publicily shame me for being humiliated in front of the whole school like that? We stopped talking for several weeks but then made up. The problem is everytime i look at her I see the same person that back stabbed me emotionally. I just want to know if I am being petty by holding a grudge against her or do I have every right to feel the way I do about her and should I just leave her?
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Type: Question • Score: 4 • Views: 175 • Replies: 7
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glitterbag
 
  2  
Reply Tue 10 Sep, 2019 12:26 am
@vhhtx,
get rid of that psycho before she causes you more injury. Your not carrying a grudge, you should be concerned about your safety...because she is no friend,.
roger
 
  1  
Reply Tue 10 Sep, 2019 12:30 am
@glitterbag,
For Sure!
glitterbag
 
  1  
Reply Tue 10 Sep, 2019 12:32 am
@roger,
Why would anyone put up with that?
roger
 
  1  
Reply Tue 10 Sep, 2019 01:11 am
@glitterbag,
I wouldn't, even from a rich spouse.
glitterbag
 
  2  
Reply Tue 10 Sep, 2019 01:31 am
@roger,
I took a lot of abuse from my first husband. He was so good to me until I said I do. Abusers start out slow, it's the tiny insults that make you think you did something wrong....because they wouldn't otherwise speak sharply to you, right? They love you unconditionally, right? No they don't, they have their own demons that I never figured out, but there was no fixing it. It's best to get the hell out of the way and be safe. I only lucked out because after the worst night of my life, that vainglorious asshole took my child and his broken hand to my parents house. He told my parents what happened (short of the M16) and my mother told him to leave the baby with her and get to the ER to get his hand taken care of....and he did. She called me, and I can still hear the steel in her voice....she said "what the hell happened there last night"...when I heard myself say out loud (to. my mother) what happened it finally dawned on me it was time to get the hell out of Dodge. I got in my car, drove over to my parents house and never spent another night under the same roof with that maniac. Best thing I ever did........well except have my children and marry mr. G'bag.....oh, and quit smoking.
0 Replies
 
Linkat
 
  1  
Reply Tue 10 Sep, 2019 09:42 am
@vhhtx,
Quote:
But how could she have the audacity to publicily shame me for being humiliated in front of the whole school like that? We stopped talking for several weeks but then made up. The problem is everytime i look at her I see the same person that back stabbed me emotionally. I just want to know if I am being petty by holding a grudge against her or do I have every right to feel the way I do about her and should I just leave her?


From what you are writing I am guessing you are a teen. I have a teen daughter (and another now in college) and I have seen/heard the drama.

How could she shame you? Probably trying to make herself look better/more popular/cool or some other disingenuous reason. It seems this trying to be more cool is more important than being a true friend.

It was very good of you to forgive her, but you might want to think about being a close friend of hers. I would not trust her - she may turn on you again just look better in front of others. Did she give you a reason to make you think she might really be sorry? Either in action or sincere words?

I understand that being a teen can be hard and sometimes even nice people do cruel things - but if she did not seem sincere or show you some way that she really is sorry then you may be right to feel a grudge. I wouldn't necessarily call it a grudge so much if you feel she is not sincere as in protecting yourself. It could be that your instinct is trying to protect from further harm.

I suggest if you think there could be some sincerity you give her a chance (forgive - but don't forget) and if she shows this cruel side of herself again you drop her. If you feel she is being insincere then you might want to drop her now. You should surround yourself with true friends, those that pick you up, support you and will be there for you. It is tough enough to be a teen without having a toxic friend.

I've seen it with my daughter and I know how hurtful it can be.
0 Replies
 
beantownmike
 
  -1  
Reply Fri 13 Sep, 2019 03:23 am
@vhhtx,
If you are questioning the matter despite anything else you definitely should.
0 Replies
 
 

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